Behold, The Fastest Fruit Salad Ever Made

There are a lot of niche attractions that the Internet has justifiably gone mad for. First there was the hot dudes reading Instagram, followed swiftly by the hot dudes with puppies Instagram. Well I hope we've all had enough time to collect our hot and bothered selves, because I am now pitching an entirely new genre: Hot dudes making fruit salad. To be more specific, I am pitching an Instagram made entirely of videos of this guy who makes fruit salad incredibly fast, because he is a modern day hero and...well...I'm suddenly a little more attracted to fruit than I ever thought I would be.

To be frank, this video gave me a lot of feelings. Maybe it's all the seasonally delicious fruit, but more than likely it's something about watching a man wield a deadly-looking knife with the ease of a District 1 tribute in The Hunger Games. I don't know where you go to learn a skill like this, but I do know that it is worth every second of practice to become a veritable Fourth Of July boss, which is the next time I foresee a deep need for his particular skill set.

Look, judge me all you want, but if you tell me you're not at least a little bit attracted to what is happening to this fruit, you're lying. Or maybe you are a fruit, in which case, please forgive me for my insensitivity...and for all these gifs of your brethren getting sliced to bits:

The opening overture

~I've been drankin watermelon~. (Just kidding, I've been watching this video over and over again.)

The first plot twist

Take THAT, cantaloupe. (That is cantaloupe, right? Is this is a safe space to confess my fruit ignorance?)

The climax

That pineapple doesn't know what hit it.

The grand finale

This is like the part of the fireworks show when they all go bat crazy and start setting everything off at once.

The final bow


Seriously, though, this takes him less than two minutes. I can't even find fruit in the refrigerator drawer that fast. That's partially because I never buy fruit and I'm probably going to die in like six minutes, but still. I'm going to use that last six minutes to watch this over and over again, because this is proof that super powers are REAL:

Images: YouTube(6)