8 Most Dangerous Sex Positions You're Probably Doing, Because No One Wants A Torn Vagina Or Broken Penis

So, the night’s been going well. Really well. Now you’ve taken the lead. You’re on top, and you're really getting into it. There’s twisting and bending and bouncing and thrusting. A lot of thrusting. In fact, so much vigorous thrusting during the heat of the moment that nothing can stop you from achieving the big-O. Until, of course, you hear a CRACK! Followed by a cry, not of pleasure, but of intense agony and pain. Oops. Yes people, penises can break. Sex-related injuries are no joke. A 2010 British survey found that about 18 million people, or a third of the adult population, have suffered from some kind of sex-related injury. A University of Washington’s Harborview Medical Center physician reported to seeing one or two cases of penile fractures per month.

Earlier this year, a Brazilian study published in Advances in Urology analyzed cases of penile fractures in three accident and emergency units over a span of 13 years. Their research found that the sex position most hazardous to a penis was the “Woman on Top.”

Sex therapist, Dr. Kat Van Kirk told Vice, “The issue is basically the woman’s pubic bone. It’s slightly differently positioned in each woman. At times, there’s not enough lubrication when the woman goes to sit on the penis if there’s enough force or friction or the penis catches on the pubic bone, that’s when the bend will occur in that ligament.”

According to Van Kirk, penile fractures are more common than people think. Additionally, just to keep note, the angles involved in the reverse cowgirl position are even more dangerous than cowgirl.

Because a broken penis is no fun for either partners (and neither would a torn up vagina be, for that matter) here are some other sex positions that are classified as being “risky” to your genital well-being:

1. Doggy Style

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According to physical therapist, Kristi Latham, the founder of the physical therapy clinic Beyond Therapy & Wellness, vaginal tearing can occur if there’s forceful penetration at the wrong angle, so positioning adjustments might be necessary. Additionally, doggy style and its many other variants can also cause things to enter places that weren’t ready for them.

“I’ll often see from rear-entry positions guys going to penetrate the vagina and fairly often the penis will accidentally go into the anus. And because there wasn’t any preparation, there can be anal tears and things like that,” Van Kirk said.

2. Oral Sex

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Apparently doing 69 can result in pink eye. According to a 2007 study published in the International Journal of STD and AIDS, researchers found that nine percent of people studied were infected with chlamydial conjunctivitis after their partner ejaculated into their eye.

3. Anything dealing with boobs

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As Van Kirk told Vice, “I’ve seen a few penile fractures, not just with the pelvic bone, but when guys are in the process of trying to give a pearl necklace … Sometimes they’ll put so much force against the woman’s sternum that it can fracture [the penis], and if you’re not using any lube, the friction can cause some problems too.”

4. Missionary

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Even the most traditional of all sex positions can have its downsides. The Brazilian study found that missionary or “man-on-top” was actually the safest bedroom position for keeping a penis in-tact. However, as Dr. Van Kirk pointed out, women with short vaginal canals can suffer “cervical bruising or other abrasions from deep thrusts.” Additionally, missionary, along with any other position where the penis rubs up against the urethra, can cause urinary tract infections. The friction during sex can actually push more bacteria up into the urethra.

5. Counter Top Sex

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Spontaneous sex is always fun and exciting. But don't get too excited when attempting counter top sex. In fact, according to Justin Lehmiller of Harvard University, there have been instances where the guy was too enthusiastic that he missed his target and his penis ran right into the counter.

6. Intense vigorous sex of all kinds

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Sometimes the sex can be so intense that you can’t see straight. Or at all, apparently. In fact, a 52-year-old man experienced 30 episodes of vision loss in his right eye during sex. The vision in his right eye dimmed for about 30 seconds to complete darkness just before he orgasmed. His vision would, of course, return, but doctors call this sex induced blindness, amaurosis fugax.

7. Chinese Finger Trap

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Not really a sex position, but a good visual way to describe what happens when a penis gets stuck inside a vagina or what doctors like to call, “penis captivus.” Totally not making this up, by the way.

As UK-based sexual physician, John Dean said, “When the penis is in the vagina it becomes increasingly engorged. The muscles of the woman’s pelvic floor contract rhythmically at orgasm. While those muscles contract the penis becomes stuck and further engorged.”

A recorded incidence of this phenomenon occurred in 1947 and was published in the British Medical Journal. House doctor, Dr. Brendan Musgrave wrote, “I can distinctly remember the ambulance drawing up and two young people, a honeymoon couple I believe, being carried on a single stretcher into the casualty department.”

But as Dr. Dean pointed out, cases like that are few and far between because people experiencing penis captivus tend to be stuck for a few seconds before they can disengage.

8. Extramarital Sex

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OK, so this isn’t exactly a sex position, but it’s definitely a position you don’t want to be in. A study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine conducted by University of Maryland urologist, Andrew Kramer, found that cheaters increase their risk for penis fractures. Looking over 16 cases of penile fractures that were treated at the University of Maryland Hospital, about fifty percent of the patients were having extramarital affairs, most were having sex in unusual places like bathrooms, cars, and elevators. Kramer found that in those situations, the sex may be rushed or “involve unusual or awkward sexual positions.”

Images: Ed Gregory/Pexels; Giphy(8)