A Wedding Was Officiated By Puppets, And 9 Other Times Weddings Were Almost Too Ridiculous To Handle — VIDEO

When I first heard about a puppet officiating a wedding, I thought it was wack. Nine glorious minutes of my life later, I want to shove my past self's head into a toilet. Past Me was so wrong. I now understand that not only is there anything more glorious in this world than a puppet-themed wedding, but that I am going to have one myself, social convention be damned. Joe and Tammy, I hope you are enjoying your honeymoon so much right now that you don't get offended by my blatant idea theft when I eventually trick Andrew Garfield into marrying me.

The happy couple were married in Topanga, California, and with the help of the L.A. Puppet School, threw one of the funniest wedding ceremonies ever. I've always thought that the ceremonies of weddings were Total Snoozeville and appreciated that every wedding I've been to has done its best to speed it up and get to the food, but with Joe and Tammy's, I was hoping it would never end. It was like Avenue Q, the wedding edition. My only regret in life is that the time machine I will need to go back, make best friends with these two, and get invited to the wedding probably won't be invented until long after I'm dead.

If you have any doubts about this video, trust me ...

You'll laugh!

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You'll cry!

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You'll watch Elmo get punched in the face!

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I'm not giving anything else away. You've got to watch this magic for yourself.

Joe Gold on YouTube

Of course, this is far from the only time weddings have deviated from the normal script. Here are a few other weddings that got "out of hand" (GET IT, because puppets, I'm so sorry please forgive):

1. These two grooms who rode in on a UNICORN

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"No, no, we can't ride in on just any old horse. THINK BIGGER."

2. This zombie themed wedding

The couple that outruns zombies together, stays together.

3. This badass Nightwing/Batgirl wedding

I don't know about you guys but I feel much safer knowing that they're out there, keeping us all safe.

4. That time The Rock officiated a wedding for a fan

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Arguably the only thing better than a puppet.

5. These two cheerleaders showing off

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You may now flip the bride.

6. That time ... this happened

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#JustMarried.

7. This Portal-themed wedding

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I have no idea what this is but they look like they're having fun, so PROPS.

8. This 6-year-old who DJ'd a wedding

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I am almost four times his age and nowhere near as baller.

9. This entire situation

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This just in: Surprise ring bearers are the only kind that matter.

Images: YouTube(4); Imgur(9)