Life

Animals Acting Like People Are The Creepiest

I love animals a whole, whole lot. My adoration for my cat runs deep and I kinda get it when people treat their animals with the kind of respect usually reserved for humans. In fact, it's easy to argue why dating a dog owner is a smart plan. Animals are great! But here's the thing: An animal is not a human, and should not dress or act as such. It's creepy when animals act like people.

Sometimes animals act like people in a natural this-is-how-my-body-fell-together way (or in bizarro situations when animals run for political office), but more often than not it's the owner perpetuating the unconvincing facade. And that is not OK. It's like they're trying to morph pet ownership into people parenthood, and although I don't know much about parenthood firsthand, I feel pretty confident in asserting that the two are not very similar. In a pretty obvious vein of differences, there's the fact that one is human and the other is not. Pet owners should enjoy what they've got: An animal. There's so much potential for rewarding companionship and even outdoor adventures (cats like adventures, too, apparently). It also doesn't involve high rates for childcare, soccer lessons, shoes seemingly every two weeks (children really do grow like weeds!), etc. So they should be treated differently than humans. Here is some evidence that animals acting like people is extremely creepy:

Dog dressed as and walking around like a little girl

Here we have an outfit that, frankly, would also be pretty upsetting should a human child don it. The tiny, dainty steps, though—on its hind legs! So of course they paired this with a song that sounds like it might be playing in Epcot's representation of Mexico makes it all the more frightening.

Corgi cabbie

To be honest, even though I know this is inherently a bad idea, I'd be hard pressed to not be so stoked with this guy's image popping up in an Uber request. But wait—

Three dogs actually driving

Please cancel that Uber request. I can take the train. Or stay home. I promise, it's fine.

"I'm blogging."

Literally all of us.

Dogs having a swingin' time

Hopefully he didn't get as stuck as smallish adults trying to prove a point sometimes do (this is definitely not an autobiographical observation).

Pool shark

This little batpig baby leaning over the billiards, though.

This entire commercial

Such disturbing footage does nothing to convince me to buy these products and services. What a weird advertising concept.

Doggy paddling

Is this safe?

Billy goat toke

Un-OK.

Plowed pug

Vibes. I feel this pooch big time.

Farmer tan

I...what? Bye.

Images: istolethetv/Flickr