You know when you're like, "hey, I know I'm not a flawless, beautiful unicorn, but this photo of me should be used as bird cage lining"? It happens. The majority of humans are not immune to taking bad pics. Let's not kid ourselves. Yeah, we all have that one friend who looks good in every damn photo. Even that pic of her side profile while she's yawning. How does your friend make that look cute? Kerry Washington is that friend, but x100. She is a flawless, beautiful unicorn. She might be the most gorgeous person alive and I've yet to see an unflattering photo of her... That was until I saw Kerry Washington's shockingly bad Lucky cover.
She's almost unrecognizable. HOW DO YOU MAKE A PERFECT HUMAN LOOK THAT WEIRD?! Washington has zero bad angles. Her "goofy" facial expressions are pretty. And, oh right! SHE'S PERFECT. A photo like this doesn't "just happen." Someone at Lucky made this happen. Someone achieved the seemingly impossible.
Who did her hair? Seriously. Who thought flattening her hair into a dry, piecey 'do was a good idea for their December issue? Was Lucky hoping to make those of us with dry winter hair feel better about ourselves? Sorry, Lucky. You can't fool us. We know better. We know Kerry Washington is on another level.
I don't want to pick the photo apart too much, but it looks and feels so dull. Dull as in "dreary," not "boring." It's far from boring. It's too mind-boggling to be boring. Jezebel's Dodai Stewart nails it: "[Washington] looks like a White Walker frost zombie Photoshopped to within an inch of her life." The flat makeup gives her the opposite of a "glow." Her usual bright and ethereal aura is nowhere to be found. Who at Lucky snuffed out her aura?!
Perhaps I'm overreacting, I wondered. Perhaps this photo isn't that bad. I consulted my roommate. My roommate literally winced and said, "that is a disaster!" And then we freaked out because HOW DO YOU MAKE A PERFECT HUMAN LOOK THAT WEIRD?!
Image: Eva Chen/Instagram