Entertainment

How Will Kimye's New Baby Affect 'KUWTK'?

by Mary Grace Garis

I'm certain that, in our darkest existential moments, we've all wondered to ourselves, "You know what we don't have enough of? Kardashians to keep up with." Well, luckily our prayers have been answered: Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are going to have another child. Move over, Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, Jesus Christ, and every Royal Baby... this will be the most hotly anticipated baby of ALL TIME. OF ALL TIME.

...or not, because, typically, the second child is less of a big deal than the first, and we're consistently bombarded with Kardashian news every day. Still, we can be pumped over wondering how exactly this upcoming baby (the very probable South West) will be involved (or won't be involved) into future episodes of Keeping Up With the Kardashians. My brain is percolating possibilities already, because, although Kim's pregnancy itself could be heavily featured, North is notoriously sparse in the series. Can Kanye end up bending his rules, or will they have to awkwardly digitally remove two babies out of the entire show?

I'm sure we could work around it either way. Brace yourselves, Keeping Up With the Kardashians fans. Here's a quick list of every angle, episode, and plot line you should expect while they're expecting.

1. Constant mention of Kanye doing baby prep, zero actual appearances by Kanye.

Seeing Kanye on KUWTK is like seeing a dog walking on hind legs... it happens infrequently, and it's a majestic thing to behold. Season 10 has done a great job dodging his appearances, referencing him as a side bar without actually capturing him on tape. So my guess? Expect a lot of "Kanye took me to the ultrasound today," and "Kanye just left to buy me pickles and ice cream."

2. Constant mention of the current state of Kim's vagina, and other fun facts.

Said with no judgement, just somber acknowledgement that Kim is the queen of overshare.

3. Kim's hormones going into overdrive and her dissolving into tears at all times.

All she wanted was for her new perfume bottle to be TEAL, not turquoise. And then she'll make that face of hers, and Kourtney will dissolve into hysterics.

4. The Herculean task of fitting a baby bump into a bodycon mini dress.

Why doesn't Herve Ledger make maternity wear?

5. An episode in which Grandmomager Kris tries to manage her grandchildren but gives preferential treatment to the Baby West, Part 2.

Kris gets South her own Vanity Fair cover. Mason throws a little hissy fit about how he's the crown prince of the Kardashians, because that's what happens when Scott Disick is your father. North West starts rebelling aggressively.

6. A group pow-wow on if they want the baby to pose naked in her first Vogue photoshoot.

A Kardashian family tradition.

7. And, if all goes well, the inevitable E! channel spin-off for the baby and her big sister.

Working title: North and South West Take East.

Images: Giphy (8)