Why Kate Really Shouldn't Do 'Entourage'

As we all know by now, Vince is indeed doing the movie. The Entourage movie is happening and there's nothing any of us can do about it. Now, word has it that producers want Kate Upton to star as Vince's potential love interest, who he'll toss aside at some point so he can do the movie.

Look, I know we can't stop the rolling tide of Axe body spray and calf implants. Jeremy Piven is probably already doing a rigorous series of vocal exercises that don't differ much from Mahi the Screaming Dog's morning routine in preparation; Mark Wahlberg is likely trying to figure out the best way to make a cameo; and Seth Green is probably shaking in his boots thinking about all the ways they'll bring him back into the mix just to make him look like a total douche again. The stage is set, but for the love of all that is terrible, please don't make Upton a part of this.

This is a woman who stands for something in the modeling community. Back in May, she spoke to Vogue about the Internet attacks which questioned "Is Kate Upton Fat?" after a Sports Illustrated cover showed a peak of her natural, and ample, cleavage. While the rest of us had normal reactions, like jealousy and admiration, some folks deemed her body "incorrect" in the model world. To that, she had a pretty down-to-earth response, telling Vogue, "The things that they’re rejecting are things that I can’t change. I can’t change my bra size. They’re natural! I can work out and I can stay healthy and motivated, but I can’t change some things."

Is this the woman we want to subject to Vince (Adrian Grenier) and his "charms?" Let's not forget that this is a guy who's callously bedded half of Los Angeles in his high-minded exploration of Tinseltown (and by "high-minded," we just mean high). This is also the guy who must have drugged the smart, sexy Vanity Fair journalist Sophia (Alice Eve) assigned to profile him, because she somehow agreed to not only date the dolt, but say "screw everything" and run away to Europe to marry the guy.

Sure, it's likely that by the time we make it to the movie, Sophie will have realized her mistake and gone running back to the Conde Nast offices leaving Vince with a void to fill, but does he really need another out of his league lady? Can't he just be the promiscuous attention hog he's always been and call it a day? Are we really looking for growth in an Entourage movie — and at the expense of someone like Upton?

I suppose another love interest is what'll help sell movie tickets, but please Doug Ellin, just don't let it be Kate Upton and her fantastic Dougie.