Entertainment

7 Important Truths About Texting from Aziz Ansari

by Rachel Semigran

Aziz Ansari is an expert on a lot of things, namely, comedy, fashion, food, and now, Modern Romance — which is the aptly named title of Ansari's upcoming book. He wrote a humorous collection of essays and observations about the state of love and dating in the age of Tinder. Ansari, who is an outspoken (and downright incredible) feminist worked with sociologist Eric Klinenberg to explore why our generation is waiting to marry, what social media does to our actual human social skills, and why most of us feel that it's nearly impossible to find love when everyone can just swipe left.

However, Aziz Ansari has not lost hope for us. In fact, he wants us to find love, be happy, and feel a little better about ourselves in the mess that is online dating. In Modern Romance, Ansari dives deep into the do's and dont's of texting. Since texting is the way most of us communicate with everyone from our mothers to our bosses, it really does matter how we use the device that we so often take for granted...especially when it comes to dating. In those fragile first few dates/hang outs/talks/whatevers, texting is the thing that can make or break the progress of a relationship. It's just the world we live in.

Fear not daters of the world, Aziz Ansari has your back with these most important truths about texting:

1. Women Deserve Better

“I’ve spent hours talking with women and seeing the kind of ‘first texts’ they get from guys, and trust me, it’s infuriating. These were intelligent, attractive, amazing women and they all deserved better.”

2. Laziness Doesn't Go Unnoticed

“Generic messages come off as super dull and lazy. They make the recipient feel like she’s not very special or important to you.”

3. We Need To Get To The Point a Little Faster

“I can’t tell you how many girls I met who were clearly interested in a guy who, instead of asking them out, just kept sucking them into more mundane banter with gems like ‘So where do you do your laundry?’ What follows are ten back-and-forths about laundry (‘Yeah, I recently switched to fragrance-free detergent. It’s been FANTASTIC.’)”

4. Everyone Hates The Vague Get-Togethers

“The lack of clarity over whether the meet-up is even an actual date frustrates both sexes to no end, but since it’s usually the guys initiating, this is a clear area where men can step it up.”

5. Make It Clear That It's A Date From The Get-Go

“The one question that you never want to have to ask on a date [is]: ‘So, is this a date?’ I’ve been on dates (and non-dates) where that was the question one (or both of) us was asking ourselves. . . . If she’s not interested, you get to know right away. No need to waste time/money/energy/tears on finding out later.”

6. Bad Grammar Isn't Sexy

“In any interviews we did, whenever bad grammar or spelling popped up, it was an immediate and major turn-off.”

7. But Saying What You Really Feel Is Sexy

“For certain messages, [my girlfriend] wrote out what was going on through her mind, and it was amazing.”

Thank you Mr. Ansari, for finally saying what we've all been feeling.

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