Take note: If you ever find yourself in a position in which you are desperately trying to hide your relationship with Random Hot Musician from the paparazzi, stay far the hell away from U2 concerts. Even if frontman Bono begs you to hang out at the after-party, tell him NO — suggest he hang with the always conspicuous duo Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt instead — because he will not be able to keep himself from mugging for the camera and blowing up your private moment. Don't believe me? Just ask Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Martin, who were on what had to be totally sweet, totally hush-hush Date #3,456 on Sunday night in Los Angeles when Bono hitched a ride with them and, basically, became a giant, glaring red bull's eye for photographers.
Yes, it's all his fault — though he shares some of the blame with his bumblebee-yellow sunglasses, which any photog can clearly spot from the moon.
Lawrence and Martin have been dating since at least August 2014 though, given how private they are, I wouldn't be shocked to learn they've been married for five years and share a kid or two and a couple of dogs. At one point, they broke up — possibly because J. Law woke up one morning and was like, holy hell, I'm 24 and my 38-year-old boyfriend was married to Gwyneth Paltrow and, oh my lord, she's going to kill me when she finds out I gave her kids a PB&J sandwich. I mean, that's what would have made 24-year-old me run for the hills, but who knows, J. Law could be a lot more mature than her hilarious interviews indicate.
Anyhoo, they're back together, but still incredibly annoying about not wanting to be seen on dates. Here they are, pre-Bono:
Their latest romantic night consisted of them checking out a U2 concert — part of the band's Innocence and Experience tour stop at The Forum — and then being stopped by Bono while they were in a car headed to the after-party at Chateau Marmont. The singer climbed into the backseat, basically squeezing himself between "Martin Lawrence," causing the poor actress to practically melt into the upholstery in an attempt to disappear from paparazzi.
In Bono's defense, he looks as if he's trying to shield Lawrence from prying cameras, but dude: too little, too late. Can't you just picture him turning to the couple after the car peels off and saying, "Seriously, guys? We still playing this game?"