Janet Jackson Is Releasing An Album For The First Time In 7 Years, So Here's Everything You Were Doing 7 Years Ago
Hey quick question — what have you been doing for the last seven years or so? Breaking all your New Years resolutions, watching way too much television, and waiting for Janet Jackson's next album to come out? Well I'm glad to hear it, because, first of all, me too, and, second of all, I've got some great news for you. You might have guessed it already, but Janet Jackson has another album coming out. Hurrayyyyy! We don't have a name for it yet, but it will be released this fall, so you have just a little longer to wait before being reunited with your girl and dancing the night away as her music plays at the club.
That's all still modern terminology, right? I don't sound like an idiot? It's just that I've frozen myself in amber for the seven years since Jackson's last album, Discipline, was released, so I'm not really up-to-date on what's going on in the world. As far as I know, we're still living in a world where we're treating the housing market like it will never burst, "Single Ladies" was still relevant, and Hillary Clinton is poised to be the next President of the United States. Oh wait. I just looked back at all that, and it's still pretty much the same. So let's see what else has changed since Jackson put out her last album.
1. The Writer's Strike
Oh, yeah, remember that thing where all our favorite shows like... couldn't air because all their writers were on strike? That happened.
2. The Jolie-Pitt Twins Were Born
Welcome to the world, Vivienne and Knox! Hard to believe that, up 'til now, you've lived in a world with zero new Janet Jackson songs.
3. Beyonce And Jay Z Got Married
Kind of blowing my mind that there was ever a time they weren't married, to be honest, but whatevs.
4. Breaking Bad Premiered
It's really a shame that one never caught on.
5. Scarlett Johansson And Ryan Reynolds Got Married
AND LOOK AT THEM NOW SO HAPPY TOGETHER. Oh I'm sorry, these two are so happy now, and each do have baby daughters — they're just with separate people. How times have changed.
6. Heath Ledger Died
This was the first celebrity death to hit me so hard I genuinely considered taking time off school.
7. Destiny Hope Cyrus Officially Changed Her Name To Miley Ray
She also still had long brown hair, so those were the days.
8. I Turned 21
The biggest thing on this list, and not a single one of you guys showed up to my party. RUDE.
Images: Getty Images (2); Giphy (3)