Entertainment

Christina Aguilera Should Have Her Own Show

by James Tison

Any fan of The Voice can tell you that the main attraction of NBC's ratings juggernaut is one, the only, Christina Aguilera. Sure, Pharrell Williams is a delight and Blake Shelton is charming, but it's Aguilera's compassionate, sassy, body-positive judging style that makes the show worth watching. (Well, that and all the amazing singers.) I say it's high-time for Christina Aguilera to spinoff The Voice, á la Simon Cowell leaving American Idol to host The X-Factor. In fact, it's too bad the name X-Factor is already taken, because it would work perfectly for X-Tina!

Sure, the idea for her to leave the massively popular singing competition might seem a little foolhardy, but I bet all the hair extensions in the world that no one hears that idea and thinks, "She can't leave the show! What would she be without Adam Levine?" Aguilera is tailor-made to helm a competition show centered around her brand, like RuPaul's Drag Race but for pop stars. She's full of wisdom, she's been in the business for forever, and she's hilarious. What more do you want? Plus, if she had her own show, we'd get to hear a lot more of her singing (and that's never a bad thing). After all, who really wins every episode of Drag Race? RuPaul, obviously.

Here are seven reasons why Christina Aguilera needs to press that button, turn her chair around, and say yes to taking on her own spinoff.

1. Cher Could Be One Of The Judges

CHER, you guys. The Cher. Cher! What else could I possibly write here if what I wrote already didn't fill you with excitement? There's no elaborating; it's just CHER.

2. And Maybe Frenchie Davis?

She was a contestant on The Voice after her American Idol scandal, but I say it's time for her to get some legit gigs, people. She's been on Broadway, for goodness sake. No more competing for Frenchie — make her a judge!

3. It Would Literally Be 45 Minutes Of Christina Aguilera Making Weird Noises While People Sing

It's like one of her favorite things to do on The Voice, and it's endlessly entertaining. Whether she's snorting, whistling, or flat-out screaming for no reason, the girl makes more random noises than a Bop-It.

4. No More Adam Levine

Look, I'm not trying to be a hater. He seems like a good guy, and he can totally stay on The Voice all he wants. I'm just really, really, really, really not a fan, and I would prefer it if he was not on Christina's show.

5. She Would Sing All The Time

It can't be emphasized enough. Sure, on The Voice she gets to join in on songs every now and then, but, if she had her own show, then every episode could be the "Christina Aguilera Variety Hour." She could even kick off contestants by interrupting them mid-performance and finishing their song for them.

6. She'd Be More Entertaining Than Watching The Other Judges

She loves singing at her pupils when she's trying to teach them what to do. That means that, not only would Christina Aguilera sing every song, but she would sing every conversation as well. How could you not want to watch that?

7. In All Seriousness, She's Actually An Amazing Coach

While it's true she sings a lot, she does actually do an amazing job of treating contestants like artistic equals. That kind of humility is impressive and enriching to see from someone as talented and famous as Aguilera. Let's give her that spinoff, guys.