What I drink on a Saturday night definitely depends on my mood: Beer with my dude friends, wine with my lady friends, and tequila whenever I feel like really throwing any sort of impulse control out of the window. But what if different alcohols were actually your friends
? I don't know about you, but sometimes, especially after a particularly rough night, I tend to blame the alcohol — you know, as if it were a person and it's entirely on them that I can't get off my couch and not at all my own fault — so hey, maybe YouTube comedian Fawn Mead's "Drinking Buddies" video is exactly what I need.
Mead recently asked herself the "if boozy drinks were my friends" question, and what resulted is a hilarious video featuring convos with personified versions of vodka, beer, whiskey
, and even absinthe — though I think that one is less of a discussion and more of an experience. Literally the only thing I remember about that stuff is that it tastes like licorice.
I can personally relate to all but one of Fawn's alcoholic interpretations (has anyone ever had sambuca
? Is this an experience that I've somehow missed in my life? What even is it?). Her characters feature drink-specific clothes and makeup, and while I think there should have been a few more tears involved, overall I think she nails the kind of friends alcohols would be. Or are, depending on how you live your life.
Check out five "friends" below. I think you'll recognize a few...
I've known Vodka for years. We go way back. She's always loyal, and she just pumps you up, you know? She's a truly supportive friend — and so good at boosting your confidence when you're down! Really into karaoke, though. And dance-offs.
Wine loves talking about sex, loves talking about relationships, loves giving out unsolicited relationship advice, and has never been in a successful relationship lasting more than a week because her idea of "good communication" means calling a boy 20 times in one night and maybe crying on a few voicemails. But no, like, she's great, she's so great, like really great, I don't know why she can't just find a nice boy, ugh, men are the worst.
Champers looks expensive, because she is expensive — literally. That nose job she got the summer before leaving for boarding school even looked good after she face-planted at that big rowing event. You know, one of those things where everyone has to wear a fancy hat? She can get you into all the most exclusive parties, but she can't wave her bubbly wand and make you suddenly able to discuss cotillions and summer homes in the Hamptons at length. She's not magic.
Beer likes chillin' and low-key makin' out with some dude she met at dive bar watching the hockey game. She's a good pal, but she always wants nachos and mozz sticks when we go out, and it's like, "OK, but like all the time? Sometimes I want a vegetable." And then she shrugs and eats my share of the nachos.
The last time I saw Tequila, she was running down the street at 4 AM with one shoe and two plastic flamingos, screaming the chorus of "Bad Blood," and then the next morning she was like, "This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?" So have you heard from her recently or...
Watch the full video below:
Images: R./Flickr; Getty Images; Fawn Mead/YouTube (5)