Access Your Inner Geoffrey With This Step-By-Step 'Fresh Prince'-Inspired Instruction Manual & Hit New Levels Of Sarcasm
Uncle Phil and Aunt Viv may have owned their Bel-Air mansion, but there's no question that it was their sass-master butler from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Geoffrey who actually ran the place. Faced with the Banks family's shenanigans, Geoffrey personified chill — chill with a posh accent. I've always admired the butler's grace under pressure and ability to rise above it all. Maybe it's the reason that sarcasm has become a treasured defense mechanism. But enough about me and about topics I should be bringing up in therapy: this is about you, and accessing your own inner Geoffrey Butler. Hope you ate a nutritious breakfast this morning. Let's get to work.
Unleashing one's Geoffrey is easier said than done. Maybe it was actor Joseph Marcell's easy delivery of every one-liner that made being the Banks' sole household employee look almost easy. Let me assure you that it is not. To say so would be a disservice to the man who single-handedly kept that family from self-destructing, from some (though not all) public humiliations — hell, I'd argue that Geoffrey kept that family alive. And he did it all in style. You too can embody the man's self-possession, patience, and biting wit — I promise. You just have to follow the steps:
1. Practice Your Witty Retorts Until They're Second Nature
When somebody comes at you with some nonsense, you must have three to four witty comebacks ready to be deployed. Your quick-thinking will strike fear into the hearts of your tormentors. (In Geoffrey's case: the people who pay him to do his job.)
2. Make Sure Your Boss Knows Who's Really In Charge
Job hierarchies aren't born on the organizational chart. Geoffrey ensures with every back-handed jab that Uncle Phil knows that he's the boss in name only. Caution: Only practice Step 2 with an employer who has a deep, grudging affection for you. Otherwise Step 2 might get you fired.
3. Know How To Let Loose
Underneath Geoffrey's prim and proper exterior beats the heart of a party animal. Make sure you let yours out to play every once and a while too.
4. Like, Really, Really Loose. Even If You've Got To Go Undercover To Do It
Go to the next town over, wear a disguise, hit up a bar no one you know would ever go to — everyone deserves a little anonymity once in a while.
5. Be Ready To Run Game At A Moment's Notice
Every immigration officer might just be the mate you've been looking for. Don't let circumstances pull you off your game. Work some of that Geoffrey charm.
6. Have Fun At Your Job
Even the most tedious gigs have potential — it's up to you to find it.
7. Adapt Your Talents
Just like Geoffrey throws a little Tennyson into his groovy poet impression, you can use what you know to navigate new and stressful situations. Volley'd and thunder'd!
8. Appreciate Your Family — Whoever They Are
For all his bluster, Geoffrey adored the Banks family. And they felt the same. Take time to appreciate and nurture those family relationships, whether it's a family you were born into or one that semi-adopted you along the way.
That's what it really means to access your inner Geoffrey. (Don't worry, you can still be a sasspot.)