Mariah Carey's, Uh, Bizarre Week Is a Dream Come True For Her Real Fans

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It may be 2013, but Mariah Carey is as relevant as she was in the '90s. She released "The Art of Letting Go" this week, but that's just the the tip of the MC news iceberg. Who doesn't love anything Mimi-related?! Perhaps I'm a tad biased. Perhaps I should admit that I counted down the days until the Mariah Carey for OPI nail polish line would be available in stores. Perhaps I should disclose that I consider watching one of Carey's concert specials on Palladia a perfect way to spend a Sunday night. I'm a fan, OKAY?!  This week has been a big week for Nick "Mr. Mariah Carey" Cannon's wife. I can't escape the Mimi news. Oh, I'm not complaining. Not even a little bit. Here are the highlights of the week, Mariah Carey-style:

MIMI AMBUSHED FANS

A Carey fan's adoration is a serious thing. Carey is a living legend, and her fans worship her accordingly. To be in her presence is an honor. So, when Carey decided to prank her fans on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, I experienced all of the emotions at once. The "prank"? Surprise some unsuspecting lambs with an up-close-and-personal performance in a recording studio. It's the cutest, sweetest thing ever. I'm really happy for those people. I mean it. I cried while watching the video, so I don't want to imagine what I'd do if I was actually there. Needless to say, they handled themselves way better than I would've. 

MIMI MAKES MISTAKES, STAYS PERFECT

When I listened to Carey's new single "The Art of Letting Go" for the first time on Monday, the only words that came to mind were "'90s diva perfection." Don't get it twisted, though. The song doesn't sound dated for a second. It's a glorious follow-up to the wonderful, stupidly underrated summer jam that was "#Beautiful."

…And then, we found out it was all a lie. Sort of. Thursday morning, Carey announced via Facebook that there was a mix-up with the mixing. Uh oh. That's quite the oopsie-daisy. The song we lost our marbles over on Monday? Not the real thing. I'm sorry, what? I need a moment. That version had already found a home in my soul. I don't want a different version. The wrong version is SO good. How could the real version be better? 

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WHEW. It's still great! After listening to the real version, I realized I might've overreacted. There are subtle differences between the two, sure, but it took me several back-to-back listens to notice them. I guess it does sound a bit more finished? I don't know. But Carey is a brilliant musical goddess, so I trust her. If Mimi says the real mix is superior, then the real mix is superior. She knows what she's doing. 

MIMI D.G.A.F.

When I read that Carey equated being an American Idol judge with "going to work every day in hell with Satan," I started scream-cackling. YES YES YES. The library is OPEN. Carey badmouthed her AI experience on the Hot 97 radio show Tuesday morning, and although it was hilarious, it wasn't entirely shocking. Carey's feud with fellow judge Nicki Minaj was an actual T-H-I-N-G. It'd be weird if she was fake about it. She's Mariah Carey. She doesn't need to be fake. I'm always delighted when a celebrity throws politeness out the window and embraces keeping it real. And because Mimi is Mimi, she laughed and followed up that statement with, "I'm just playing; it didn't affect me that much." HOLY CRAP, I LOVE HER FOREVER. 

It's only Thursday. What will tomorrow bring? My prediction: Mariah Carey will buy Sanrio. 

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