Seriously, we get it already — twerking is never going away and neither are Robin Thicke and Miley Cyrus. (Which is really a shame, because I liked Robin Thicke and "Blurred Lines" before that infamous VMAs moment.) Thank god Glee was on FOX Thursday night to remind us and burn some permanent, disturbing images into our eyeballs. The episode that was aptly named "The End of Twerking" taught us a valuable lesson: Mr. Schuester and Marley Rose should actually never be allowed to perform again. And also that twerking isn't for everyone and you should probably stick to your side-step and head-bob and stop climbing on the walls to shake your butt like Miley.
This episode was supposed to be all about taking risks and "blurring lines," according to the glee club's fearless (and seemingly misinformed) leader, Mr. Schue, but really all it did was make me cringe and feel like I needed to look away. Anytime Will Schuester tries to relive his glory days by performing with or without the New Directions kids, I feel so embarrassed that I let out a nervous giggle for lack of a better way to release the tension. And that's exactly what happened to me Thursday watching him perform Robin Thicke's most popular and controversial song, "Blurred Lines." (Yes, the moment was more awkward than his pretend-boy band, Acafellas, in Season 1. If that's even possible.)
C'mon, Ryan Murphy, was this really necessary? You were doing so well, and we were so excited about the upcoming puppet situation. Why'd you have to take us to this creepy place? I was literally less disturbed by the legions of McKinley High School students twerking up and down the hallways and each other than I was watching Mr. Schue sing, "I know you want it, I know you want it" with feeling and gyrating awkwardly like Thicke at the VMAs. I'm going to have nightmares about this, I swear.
As if it weren't bad enough to have a grown man and professional singing the song, seemingly ignorant about the media blitz surrounding its creepy message, Glee included a performance of Miley Cyrus' "Wrecking Ball." Now, I feel really sad for Marley — she's a nice girl and she definitely didn't deserve for Jake to cheat on her with spawn-of-the-devil Cheerio Bree, but she also definitely didn't deserve to be involved in this cringe-worthy moment.
(A few stills from Marley's Miley performance.)
Who thought this was a good idea? I get that it's a break-up song and that she just found out that her boyfriend cheated on her with "trash," as she so eloquently called Bree. (To her face. Go, Marley!) But, again, how uncomfortable do I need to feel in one episode? Glee's done solos before (some that I didn't even know, I'll admit), but there was something about the cheesy, plastic-looking "wrecking ball" — with its accompanying Fisher-Price brick wall, and Marley's stiffer-than-cornstarch movements — that made this the second weirdest performance basically ever on the show. (No, I haven't forgotten about Finn's song about Quinn having his baby at the Fabray's dinner table.)
I feel bad for Mr. Schuester (actually, I don't feel bad for Mr. Schuester because honestly, he should leave the performing to the kids and stop trying to steal the spotlight) and Marley in this situation. It's not that Marley's not talented — she's just kind of boring and awkward, so I feel like we can give her another chance. But I'm completely out of chances for Mr. Schue, it's time for him to hang up his dancing shoes and vocal chords.
Glee's fifth episode of the season literally came through like a wrecking ball and now I'm scared to a) go to sleep and b) imagine what the rest of this season is going to look like.
Images: FOX, Serialmente