When you’re Jennifer Lawrence, you get to hire whomever you damn well please to guard your body — and if that means the most qualified person for the job just so happens to be tall, hot, muscular, and, um, HOT, well all is fair in love, war, and employment. Twitter was set ablaze with photos of Jennifer Lawrence's bodyguard, who was photographed with the 24-year-old actress while out and about in New York City this week. The dude wears strategically tight button-down and flannel shirts (either that or his bulging biceps won’t allow for an inch of extra room), jeans that allow the world a glimpse at his... wallet, and, in one shot that looks like it was taken in an airport, a snazzy sports coat because I imagine J. Law's bodyguard always wants to be prepared for the possibility that she'll ask him out for a drink after his shift is over.
Anyway, J. Law’s fans are in love.
Judging by the star’s nonchalant expressions in the photographs — but remember she is skilled in the art of make believe — you’d think she doesn’t even notice that the guy standing less than a foot away from her is actually her soul mate. The Kevin Costner to her Whitney Houston (you know, The Bodyguard — that 23-year-old film ... OK, never mind). Anyway, her aloof face is proof that she either a) Has made a forever blood pact with Chris Martin b) Isn't shallow enough to fall for a guy just because of his physical appearance, cough or c) respects that he maybe has a girlfriend or wife (in which case, can you not hear this woman complaining over drinks with friends about how Mr. Hotness couldn't go and get himself a job guarding buildings like everyone else?)
Anyway, I've rambled on enough. Time to get a look at this hunk 'o' man.
Are you noticing a common theme here? First of all, J. Law's bodyguard is standing behind her in one photo. As someone who has never had a bodyguard, I can only guess this isn't the norm, but perhaps it's important to, like literally, protect her back? Second, he's carrying her little pooch, Pippa. A man with a little dog is automatically the cutest sight on Earth, but I'll try to keep my focus here because the bigger story is: Lawrence totally has her bodyguard doing non-bodyguard duties and it's awesome. I'd like to help her out by suggesting five things she should also get this vision-of-an-employee to do for her — apologies in advance if it sounds like I pulled these from the script of a horrible rom-com:
1. Break Up With Boyfriends For Her
So long, Martin, there's a new sheriff in town.
2. Cook Dinner For Her
J. Law loves her junk food, but her bodyguard is very concerned about her health — and there's only one solution to that problem: whip up amazing, healthy meals for her every night.
3. Be The Confidante She Needs
Stardom inevitably leads to loneliness (if you're doing it wrong) — and J. Law's bodyguard understands that emotion and can provide a strong shoulder to cry on.
4. Stand Guard As J. Law Sneaks Around With Martin — Knowing All Along That They Are Really Meant To Be
A bodyguard in love will stoically do his job and see her through all of the frogs she has to kiss to get to her prince.
5. Serve As Her Muse
One day, while Lawrence is on set filming, she'll recite a line about love and suddenly see Bodyguard's puppy dog brown eyes gazing at her from across the room. Only then will she understand they are destined to marry and make lots of beautiful babies.
It's gonna happen — just wait.
Images: Giphy (5)