If Donald Trump Made Debate Rules For The Presidential Election, It Would Make Such Spectacular Television
There are so many Republican presidential candidates now that the upcoming primary debates will be difficult to organize— so we've decided the best possible course of action is to let Donald Trump decide the presidential debate rules. When you think about it, it makes perfect sense. Democrats and Republicans alike have expressed dissatisfaction over how the debates have been run in the past, and there are many calls to overhaul the process. It’s only logical to let Trump dictate the rules and organization, since he’s made it abundantly clear that he is the most qualified man for basically any job ever.
Trump has made his millions by organizing businesses and telling people what to do, so planning a large scale event such as this would be a cakewalk for him. His experience with The Apprentice shows that he knows what he's doing when it comes to producing television America wants to watch. We should even take it a step farther and let him write the questions and act as the moderator. I’d be willing to bet we would get answers to some wildly insightful questions about wall building, website construction, relationships with China, and a ranking of the worst airports in America. (For the record, I would like to nominate Dallas-Fort Worth).
So how would a Trump-supervised presidential debate go down? We bet it would be a little something like this.
You Must Be Rich To Enter
Unlike Fox News, who says they will be limiting the Republican primary debate to the top 10 polling candidates only, Trump has a different view on how to gain entrance to the debate. In case you missed it, he's really rich, and a lot of the other candidates are losers for not being rich. This is bad news for Marco Rubio, who may not make the cut. He can watch outside with the rest of the 99 percent.
Only "The Donald" Gets To Talk
His announcement speech on Tuesday showed that Trump really knows how to talk— and boy does he like it. To make the debates go quicker, each candidate's allotted speaking time should be directly proportionate to their income. America doesn't need to hear the other guys, anyway, since they're apparently all losers.
No Teleprompters Allowed
Don't you think that hearing a candidate's full stream-of-consciousness thoughts during a debate would be refreshing and actually insightful? Trump thinks so, too, which is why he has banned the use of teleprompters, flash cards, or cue cards from the stage. Clearly it worked for Trump, so let's give all the candidates the chance to speak their minds.
Additional Points Awarded For Best Entrance
Trump will of course be sticking to his favorite mode of transportation, Stair Force One. The other candidates will have to scramble to come up with equally dignified means of transportation, and we can only hope that someone is gauche enough to go the roller skate route.
Additional Points Also Awarded For Sheer Volume
How do candidates expect to be the leader of the free world if they can't be heard in a large town hall without the help of a microphone? The Commander-in-Chief should have a loud, booming voice, and the debates are a perfect place to showcase the candidates' ability to project. Coincidentally, Trump is already quite skilled at this— though Chris Christie may give him a run for his money.