Life

Woman Calls Neighbor's Yard "Relentlessly Gay"

Julie Baker of Baltimore, Maryland recently received one of the more obnoxious neighbor complaints in recent memory from the friendly Christians living next door. A widow and the mother of four children, Baker had a set of homemade rainbow jar solar lights hanging in her yard, which were apparently the cause for neighborly concern. The jars spelled out "Love" and "Ohana," which Lilo & Stitch diehards will recall is a term in Hawaiian culture that refers to extended/chosen/intentional family as well as blood family.

The problem with her unsightly crafts? They were seen by Baker's neighbor as being "Relentlessly Gay!" She found the following note on her door from the concerned citizen (emphasis and/or creative capitalization most definitely not mine):

"Dear Resident of 4900 Kenwood Avenue,

Your yard is becoming Relentlessly Gay! Myself and Others in the neighborhood ask that you Tone It Down. This is a Christian area and there are Children. Keep it up and I will be Forced to call the Police on You! Your kind need to have Respect for GOD.

A Concerned Home Owner."

The natural response to such a request? More rainbows! Baker set up a GoFundMe campaign to raise $5,000 for more home improvements, including more rainbow paraphernalia (and, I hope, more crafts).

Writes Baker on her GoFundMe page, "If we go high enough, I will see if I can get a Rainbow Roof! Because my invisible relentlessly gay rainbow dragon should live up there in style!"

Comments on her crowd-funding campaign range from local painting contractors offering to come "ROY G BIV [her] entire house" to pleas for someone to print off "Relentlessly Gay" t-shirts. For her part, Baker has promised to create a tutorial on how to make her rainbow solar light jar lamps at home. Oh and that $5000 fundraising goal? As of one day after launching the campaign, she's raised $18,000. She can basically buy her relentlessly gay dragon a relentlessly gay playmate at this point.