You two are closer than peanut butter and jelly. Peas and carrots. Leslie Knope and Ben Wyatt. Damn, you guys are cute. Relationships are a beautiful thing. Whether you’re dating, engaged, newlywed or married for eons, you know your tombstones are going to be side by side. With matching marble of course. You guys have similar interests like reading, you guys love to peruse old record stores for old Muddy Waters LPs, singing in the rain, etc. When you’re that secure with someone in a healthy long-term relationship there are certain things that you should never have to ask them. Because they should be a GIVEN. Like babies crying or blue skies or rats in the subway.
After all, isn’t part of the beauty of being in a long-term relationship, being in a stable place that doesn’t demand constant questioning? Does he/she like me? Does he/she like me not? Did that text mean she’s totally interested or just 80 percent interested? Where is this going? There is just too much going on! On that note, here are things no one in a long-term relationship should ever have to discuss.
1. Are You Seeing Anyone Else?
This one seems like a given, no? Ha! But that’s where you’d be wrong, my friends. I have had friends who’ve been surprised that after six months, the men they were dating were in fact dating other people as well. Like that time Carrie saw Mr. Big on a date with another woman. If you guys are seriously together, this shouldn’t even be an issue. Because you should already know! When you’re in a real relationship you know they’re not with anyone else. Because they’re with you.
2. Where Is This Going?
You shouldn’t have to wonder if the relationship is going to work. It should and it should be easy. Whether or not your magical fantastical relationship will work is not an issue because it is working. You don't have to constantly assess it like that chocolate cake that went wrong. And if it’s not, they’ll tell you. They won’t passive-aggressively string you along.
3. Why Do You Treat Me Like That?
Suffice it to say if they're treating you poorly, this relationship ain’t all it’s cracked up to be. Like a Monet or Renoir, it looks pretty from far away but up close looks like a hot mess. You deserve someone who wants to spend time with you.
4. What Does This Text Mean?
Texts should not be riddles. You are not trying to get out of the Labyrinth. David Bowie isn't going to show up either. A text should be a straightforward statement, (jokes notwithstanding). Your significant other shouldn't be playing mind games with you. Games are for athletes —not significant others.
Images: Renee Barron/Flickr; Giphy