Arousal can be finicky. Even if you totally think your head is in the game and you’re ready to step up to home plate and swing one out of park, your body might not agree. This doesn’t mean you’re not interested in what’s going or is about to happen, but you just need a little help. And there’s nothing wrong with needing a little help when it comes to getting properly aroused before sex. And, there's plenty of ways to get get aroused that you probably haven't considered.
Arousal is the first stage of sexual response. It’s during this time that a woman’s genitals dilate and blood goes rushing to her vagina. In most cases, the vagina lubes on up and gets ready for sex. If the arousal is prolonged, the wetness can secrete onto your underwear, as your genitals become more and more swollen, basically waiting for an orgasm to occur so everything down there can go back to their normal state. Although the rush of blood in the body is focused on the genital region, the dilating of blood vessels throughout the entire body creates for a lovely pink glow in women, or more specifically, a flushed face and neck.
But while it sounds like basic clockwork, sometimes a woman needs to tweak things before sex so she can reach arousal and therefore have the phenomenal sex she deserves. Here are six ways to do just that.
1. Take It Slow
Time and time again, experts have said the best way to get aroused before sex is to take things slow and amp up the foreplay. Foreplay allows for the body to catch up to the brain, if the brain is ahead of the game, and become aroused. Just messing around for 10 to 15 minutes before actual sex can make all the difference in the world. Whether this means making out more or talking dirty, just extend your foreplay as much as you can.
2. Eat Salmon
Although oysters are often considered THE food to eat to get aroused before sex, salmon is even better. Food that are rich in omega-3 fat gets the nervous system functioning better making arousal easier to achieve. I mean, you can always eat oysters, too, of course, but a healthy portion of salmon not just before sex, but on a regular basis is one of the best foods to for your whole body... and your libido.
While I would love to suggest that picking up that Winston Churchill biography you've been meaning to read is going to take you places you’ve never been, I’d be lying to you. Although Churchill never turned on anyone (I don’t think) besides his beloved Clementine, what definitely turns women on is erotica. If you want to get prepped for the deed, read an excerpt from the Marquis de Sade… or, yes, Fifty Shades of Grey, if that’s your cup of tea.
4. Smell Some Yummy Things
As Bustle wrote last week, when it comes to sexual arousal in women, even the smell of certain items can get her all hot and bothered. A 1998 study found that the smell of cucumbers, pumpkin pie, lavender, and even Good and Plenty candies, can get blood pumping in the direction of the vagina. What this means is that baking a pumpkin pie right before sex isn’t exactly a bad idea.
5. Quit Thinking About Orgasms
While, yes, getting an orgasm at the end of your sexy time is always great, psychologically speaking, focusing on the end result instead of being in the present can mess with your arousal. If you want to get actively in the mood, you need to be in the moment and not thinking 10 paces ahead.
If you can’t reach peak arousal, it really isn’t the end of the world. In fact, the more you stress, the more your arousal will suffer because of it. It may be difficult to accept that your arousal isn’t where you want it to be, but worrying about it will create an anxiety that won’t be fun for you or your partner. Instead, breathe, make out some more, and see where that takes you.
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