5 Ways For Highly Indecisive People To Determine What They Want – And Stick To It
The daily life of a severely indecisive person is a struggle bus so few people seem to be on, and yet so fewer seem to acknowledge. I know it sounds like a relatively innocuous personality trait, but if you let your uncertainty spiral out of control, it can really wreak havoc on your life. You question and end relationships, only to start them again and question some more; you backpedal and experience an almost constant sense of apprehension. You have a really hard time seeing your life for what it is, because you're always wondering what it could be. It's not a fun time. And it can often go undetected, leaving you assuming the problem is something else, something else you'll try to fix and change and still be lost on. Not enough people talk about how to know what to do when you're uncertain, how to determine what you want when you seem to equally want a few things. Here, something to get you started. Five ways highly indecisive people can determine what they want – and stick to it.
When you can't decide, try to believe that you already know the answer
That seems shocking at first, but it's not. The truth is that most of the time, when you're flitting back and forth between options, you already know what you ultimately want to do. And understanding this is really important, because it clearly defines what the rest of the work is: getting everything else out of the way (but we'll get to that in a minute). The point here is that you know what you want to do, but there are probably many other things you want to do at equal measure. At the end of the day, it's not about what you feel you want, but what you know you want most. Some of the most productive, happy people are able to differentiate the two and choose consciously.
Identify what you're really afraid of that's keeping you from deciding
Here's the trickier part to grasp: While it's true that you want more than one thing and need to decide what you want most, you also are equally, if not more so, afraid of something. You're afraid of what one choice will bring, what failing to choose something else could mean. You must identify what you're afraid of. If you don't, you'll be blindly controlled by it, you'll avoid what you really want because you're afraid of something that is maybe very approachable or not that scary if you just address it.
Let yourself be informed by your heart, but guided by your mind
If you're letting decisions in your life become a battle of which feeling is most intense, you'll lose either way. Let yourself be guided by your mind, but let your heart inform your mind. To put it in practical terms: Sit down and write out all the things you feel you want. Then let logic take over. Which is most beneficial in the long-term? Which do you genuinely want the most? Which is more important? Which will you regret not having chosen? And so on.
Create other options
It doesn't always have to be so black and white. Sometimes it's just a matter of not seeing the whole picture, the one in which there is another option, one in which you don't necessarily have to definitely choose one thing or not. Sometimes the fear of choosing just comes from being closed-minded about what your options are. Get creative. Don't be afraid to consider the best possible scenario. That's the first step to having it be true.
Sleep on it
Whenever I'm working on anything, I always write it, then wait a night, then edit and send it off; the same is true with major decisions. And it is most especially true when you feel extra impassioned to make a decision. As in, the more you feel absolutely compelled to act in that very moment, the more you should probably wait. The thing is that you always want to ultimately choose what you'll be less disappointed in a few years down the line. Consider your life from the perspectives of your young and old self. At the very end of this whole thing, what will you be more upset that you didn't do? That's usually the answer, but it's usually hard to find without a little perspective.
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