Of all the many, many, many questions that I have about Rihanna's "Bitch Better Have My Money" music video, besides, you know, what on earth I just watched, there is yet another mystery to be solved. The music video tells the story of Rihanna, sneaking into a home (if one can sneak with a giant, human-sized trunk) and kidnapping a blonde woman. She and her gang then proceed to torture and torment this woman as Rihanna screams at someone over the phone, until the end of the music video reveals that it is her accountant, played by Mads Mikkelsen of Hannibal fame, who is her real target. But, while Mikkelsen is immediately recognizable, less people might know who the blonde wife in the "BBHMM" music video is. The answer to that question is that the wife is played by model Rachel Roberts.
Roberts takes on the role of the wife mentioned in one line of the song: "Your wife is in the backseat of my band new foreign car." Some fans, like myself, assumed that Rihanna meant that the wife was cruising with her and her gang while they tried to track down BadGirlRiRi's money, but, in the music video, that wife turned out to just be an unfortunate victim of her husband's mistake. While Rihanna already hinted that Sita Abellan would be in the music video as one of her henchmen, nor is she the only one, Roberts' role came as a surprise to me — though she was proud enough of her role in it to post a screen shot from the video on premiere day to her Instagram.
The model is a 37-year-old who hails from Canada and has worked for everyone from Ralph Lauren to Victoria's Secret. She's also no stranger to acting, having credits that include Entourage, Ugly Betty, S1m0ne, and the film adaptation of Stephenie Meyer's The Host. No offense to all of those shows, movies, companies, and people, but starring in Rihanna's "BBHMM" music video is totally Roberts' Magnum Opus. I mean, seriously. How many chances in your career are you going to get to be locked in a trunk and delivered to your husband, who also happens to be Hannibal? (Poor romantic choices on her part, but, hey, in her defense, Hannibal is nothing if not charming and gifted at hiding in plain sight.)
So, what else can you learn about Roberts from her Instagram? As it turns out, the answer is a lot.
She's Proud To Be A Canadian
And who wouldn't be, really, with free health care and milk in a bag?
She Supports LGBT Rights
She's A Daddy's Girl
And look how adorable she was!
Her Mother Passed Away
And Roberts has, quite obviously, never forgotten her.
She's A Huge Marilyn Monroe Fan
Fingers crossed Roberts gets to play her in a movie one day.
Check out her "BBHMM" performance again below.
Image: YouTube (2)