Grandmas Get The 'Magic Mike' Treatment And This Is Truly A Blessing For All Of Us — VIDEO

It's pretty hard to keep up with modern times. I can't blame grandmas trying to use modern slang, especially since I recently had to ask a 23-year-old coworker what "bye Felicia" was about. In an effort to celebrate both Magic Mike XXL and the fact that horniness never dies, Cosmopolitan filmed three grandmas getting lap dances. I'm convinced the video is also, in some way, patriotic. Probably because some nonsense like this would only happen in America (and I mean that in the absolute best way).

I like dudes. Wait, scratch that—I love dudes. I've been diligently feeding a boy craziness for almost 28 years now. But even considering all that, oiled-up dudes waving their junk around in a glittering hammock doesn't do much to turn me on. Maybe that's because history proves my type is more anemic, skinny, and of the indoorsy variety. That said, I've always felt that strip clubs and strippers are super fun. There are fun lights, shiny things, loud music, strong drinks. It actually sounds a bit like a boozy raccoon's ultimate fantasy, maybe. Strippers—male strippers, especially—provide a goofy experience best done with other goofy attendees. It's a golden opportunity to let loose with these guys paid to make sure you have a fun time and act like they're doing the same. An activity usually reserved for younger women celebrating upcoming nuptials, it's so fun to see a trio of grandmas get lap dances.

Please view these faces:

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Middle grandma's expression and enthusiasm is downright inspiring:

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Dang. I wanna be carried around. That's been a goal for a while now. Maybe the path to succeeding in that one is hanging around more male strippers? Who am I to argue the cosmic truth? How do you recover from such arousal?

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Hooo, boy. See the whole adventure below:

Images: YouTube(4)