This App Is Like Tinder For Baby Names

by Jamie Kenney

Congratulations! You tripped onto some sperm and now you're pregnant! (I know: I am a wordsmith and a poet. I'm like Emily Dickinson if Emily Dickinson had written about sperm.) Unless you're like me, who had all possible children named before I was even thinking about having actual kids, you possibly don't have a name picked out yet. That's okay, slackers! With this new, Tinder-inspired app for baby names — conveniently called "Babyname" — you and your partner can quickly and easily compile a list of acceptable names for your offspring just as nature intended: Without actually talking to each other, utilizing the same tools you would use to find a booty call.

I go back and forth between thinking this app is entirely brilliant and utterly useless. Because there's nothing here that couldn't be done with pre-existing baby name websites (my personal favorite is Nymbler) and either a written list or, for the Type A people out there, an Excel Spreadsheet. At the same time, if you and your partner work different schedules or if you can't have this discussion without fighting about it (Dear My Husband: Theon is an amazing, amaaaazing middle name and you're stupid for not thinking the same!) it may be worth looking into. I also feel like it's a good tool for the brainstorming stage, just to see if you two are even kind of on the same page with the names you like. Plus it's crazy simple: swipe right for names you like, swipe left for the ones you don't. Your mutual "likes" will be compiled on a list. Easy peasy.

Regardless of how you go about naming your infant, don't worry: you have nine long, uncomfortable, nauseous months to think about it. If you're still not sure if Baby Name is for you, check out the promotional video.

Then, after you've named your baby, please write to my husband to tell him Theon is an awesome name. #SwipeRightForTheon #YesIGotTheNameFromGameOfThrones #ButItIsStillARealName