A Woman Live-Tweeted A Terrible Coffee Date She Overheard, And It Will Make You Feel Better About Every First Date You've Had

We've all had some awkward first dates, but have you ever had one so bad that an eavesdropper felt the need to tell the Internet all about it? For your sake, I hope the answer is no, but that's exactly what happened when writer Anne Thériault live-tweeted a terrible coffee date she overheard while procrastinating at a cafe. As someone who also spends a lot of time writing in coffee shops, I can verify that cafes are the best places to hang out if you enjoy people watching — over the course of the past week, I couldn't help but overhear two sisters discuss their sex lives, a woman casually discuss her cousin's death by drowning (??), and an incredibly stilted interview for an improv troupe.

Despite all the conversations I've accidentally witnessed during my many hours spent in coffee shops, I've never witnessed anything quite so awkward as the first date Thériault overheard. Over the course of less than an hour, the date manages to go from awkward ("People tell me I look like James Franco") to weird ("I can barely take care of myself let alone a baby") to bad. So, so bad.

"This guy was every hilarious stereotype about sad, self-involved writers come to life," Thériault told Mashable. On one date, he managed to the the literal embodiment of the reason people run for the hills if you mention you're a writer: egotism, pretension, and an obsession with "good" coffee. Don't believe me? Let me present the evidence, and you can decide for yourself.

The Merely Awkward Stage

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The Facepalming Stage

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Side note:

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The "Things Are Getting Weird" Stage

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The "ABORT! ABORT!" Stage (aka The Oblivious Finale)

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The Aftermath

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Does anyone else get the feeling that the poor woman will show up as a villain in his Great American Novel?

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