At a certain point, having way too many choices stops feeling exciting and starts feeling overwhelming. Dating for our generation, as Aziz Ansari has pointed out, has become a game of fishing for the absolute best option. We keep on casting out again and again, convinced there's still the pinnacle partner swimming around somewhere out there. Wouldn't it be nice to somehow shrink that fishing hole? I know one easy and very smart method for that: Date a homebody.
Not many people start as a homebody, just as no one starts as an expert on anything. It's a skill and lifestyle that requires some finesse. It demands practice and an increasing disenchantment with the outside world—a place that's bursting with unsettling experiences like "talking to people you'd prefer not to," "crowds," "sitting on things that are not my couch," and "pants." Although it's unfortunately healthy to leave your home every so often, staying put is the best—a thing you'll definitely learn in due time if you have not already. The point is it's really best to find someone who holds these similar homebody values. Allow me to explain some reasons why:
They're more chill, by default
I feel like the allure of the homebody lifestyle cannot be described. You just have to live until it finds you and makes sense. Coming to this conclusion by oneself automatically makes the person more chill.
You'll save money
No paying door covers, no valet fees, no tipping the wait staff. Dating a homebody makes your bank account happy.
They take care of themselves
They get enough sleep, drink tons of liquids (often red wine ones, but still), and their hair doesn't have weird club smells.
They likely can cook
Hanging around the homestead sure can work up a hankering. And since they're not dropping dollars going out, they can save up for awesome kitchen appliances and luxury ingredients with which they experiment. And you get to eat those experiments.
You might learn to cook, too
Not a bad life skill to know, TBH. But if that doesn't work out—
They have no qualms about ordering delivery
Cooking is always fun, but sometimes cleaning is not. A true homebody doesn't really hold back from jumping on GrubHub when necessary.
...even multiple times a day, if needed
Sometimes the food supplies are skint and there's weather outside. Who eats only one meal a day? Insane people? Exactly.
They've nailed domestic duties
Obvs we gotta keep everything in some sort of order since we're home so much. As such, we can mop the entire place in 20 minutes, can fix a toilet, and know 12 different helpful uses for baking soda.
They have more comfortable apartments
Decorate to deflate, y'know. That's a saying, right? No? It should be.
They don't experience FOMO
They got over that a looong time ago.
They don't need social validation
Same. Maybe their Instagram feeds aren't bursting with evidence of attending concerts or restaurants or faces of people who don't live with them, but they don't care. They don't feel the need to prove something.
Their friend circle is small and very ride-or-die
The faces of people who don't live with them do surface sometimes, but it's a tight-knit group. Bonus for you since that means learning fewer friend names and being forced to have birthday party marathons. (Which your bae probably isn't gonna hit anyway, because hello? Netflix. Bye.)
They value comfort
Talk about a cozy couch set-up.
They don't buy the whole "being busy as a badge" thing. They do work their asses off (probably) at work but then at home, they're gonna relax hard. They respect this important balance.
They consider clothes optional
Which can mean more chances to hang with your S.O. in their adorable skivvies. If even that. Which also means—
Spontaneous sex is way more likely
And legal. (Not to throw shade, public sex-ers.)
They probably have one or a few cuddly pets
Who will for sure sandwich themselves between y'all's Scrabble tournament. Aww!
Their beds are absolutely dope
Since they hang there so regularly, they take special care to ensure its chief functionality: being comfy AF.
...and perfectly set up to accommodate eating in it
Q: Is there anything better than eating in bed with a hot person you like who likes you back?
A: There is not.
Images: Sony Pictures Studio; Giphy(19)