7 Thoughts You Have While Going Commando
There are few things more freeing in this world than going commando. Besides the potential improvement in your level of comfort (no constricting shapewear! no panty lines! no wedgies!), you can't help but feel slightly wicked knowing that you have a naughty little secret in your pants. Not that vaginas (or whatever you've got) are inherently naughty, but there are plenty of pearl-clutchers out there who will start choking and sputtering at the mere thought of anyone going sans-panties.
Though Brooke Shields let nothing get between her and her Calvins, sometimes you want to lose the layers and just keep things easy, breezy, beautiful. It's good to let things breathe down there and there's no reason why you can only go commando in the comfort of your own home — with the right styling (and attention to the weather) you can leave your drawers in their drawer without anyone being the wiser.
Now, for you first-timers out there, there might be a few things that will cross your mind that never have before. So to prepare you for this brand new experience (or if you're an experienced commando-er and just want to laugh and sympathize), here are some thoughts that might come up when you ban the briefs.
1. "Was That A Breeze?"
If you decide to go panty-free but still want to wear a skirt or dress, you may find yourself paying way more attention to your nether-regions than normal. Every passing car or subway train can cause a tornado-like wind storm that can find you unintentionally flashing everyone around you. Perfect for exhibitionists, of course.
2. "Damn, My Butt Looks Gooooood."
No thong creeping up my crack, no VPL (visible panty lines) turning my two cheeks into four, so I know nothing is going to prevent my butt from looking good in dem jeans.
3. "How Bad Am I Cameling?"
With no underwear barrier between my pants and myself, it's a little too easy for the seam to divide and conquer. Do a check in the mirror before you leave to see how everything is situating itself, and keep an eye on things as they shift around during the day. Or don't, because cameltoes rock.
4. "I Hope I'm Not Going To Stain These Pants..."
Whether pee, period, or discharge, the vagina produces a lot of substances than can potentially wreak havoc with your favorite pants. You may find yourself upping bathroom breaks if it's a particularly... fluid day.
5. "Hm, I Think I'll Stand, Thanks!"
If you decided to go commando when wearing a short skirt or dress, take heed on where you choose to sit down. Subway seats, bus benches, waiting room chairs, even fancy-schmancy restaurant furniture can be a breeding ground for all things icky. Make sure that the fabric is long enough to cover all your precious bits before sitting or consider putting a napkin down before you take your seat. Or, if you're like me, just keep standing. (It's good for you anyway!)
6. "Oooo, What Was That?"
While chafing is usually a bad term, this is one place where a little bit of extra friction might hurt so good. You won't notice this in a skirt or dress, but sometimes if you're going commando in pants (or especially with jeans), the thick stitching at the crotch seam might rub you the right way.
7. "I Feel Fabulous!"
Damn right I've got more pep in my step. If you see me strutting down the street there's a good chance you know what my secret is.
Images: ruslimonchyk/Fotolia; Giphy