There you were, just minding your own business, browsing the Internet, and maybe watching a few cat videos on YouTube. Next thing you know, everyone's talking about the release of the Suicide Squad trailer that premiered at the San Diego Comic-Con, and you rush to make sure you're not the last of your friends to have seen it. However, by the time you make it to the end of the video, instead of being excited or elated, you're terrified. You're wide-eyed and afraid and staring at your computer screen like you're considering setting the laptop on fire. Why? Because you've just realized Jared Leto as the Joker in the Suicide Squad is hot, and now you're questioning every life choice you've ever made. But worry not, my fellow unexpected Joker girls. There are nine stages of accepting your attraction to the Clown Prince of Crime, and I'm here to help you through every single one of them.
What you're feeling is completely normal. You were probably trying not to be attracted to Jared Leto before, but you knew he had a little somethin' somethin' under there. However, you didn't really understand how big that somethin' was until he ... dyed his hair green, and his face white, and his lips red, and started menacing people. OK, OK, sorry, no, no, don't freak out. This is completely normal! Let's just run through the nine stages of acceptance, and then you can watch the trailer again without worrying about your taste in men, clown kingpins or otherwise.
Stage One: Shock
Pause the trailer. Rewind a few seconds. Watch it again. Nope, the Joker is still kind of hot. What is happening? What is happening?
Stage Two: Horror
This is unacceptable. In the first place, there is no room for a Joker in your heart who is not Heath Ledger. In the second place, since when is Jared Leto hot while wearing full clown make up? Maybe you need to get your eyes checked.
Stage Three: Trauma
The doctor confirmed that your vision is the same as it has always been. So if the problem is not in your eyes, could it instead be in your heart? Did you really, truly, of your own free will fall head-over-heels in lust with the new Joker? Unacceptable.
Stage Four: Denial
It's fine. It's cool. Because it's not happening. Close the trailer. Close YouTube. Close your browser. Close your laptop. Set it on fire.
Stage Five: Anger
And, anyway, how dare Leto make you feel these things? Doesn't he know that you're still hoping he and Lupita Nyong'o get together at some point? Doesn't he realize that you don't want to want him for yourself? This is all his fault.
Stage Six: Confusion
Why is he so hot?? Who allowed this??
Stage Seven: Exhaustion
Fighting your attraction to a man dressed as a criminal clown is really tiring. You need to take a nap. Except, maybe after you watch the Suicide Squad trailer again.
Stage Eight: Resignation
Annnnd he's still hot. Fine, OK, you can deal with this. So he's hot? So what? One time, you had a crush on Bugs Bunny. This is nothing compared to that. (Just me? OK, bye ...)
Stage Nine: Acceptance
Congratulations, you have come to terms with the fact that Jared Leto as the Joker is hot as hell, and you are totally here for it. Watch the trailer one more time below, and don't freak out. You're not alone.