Life
How To Know if You're A "Sex Person"
Vice's Elianna Lev has a request: She'd like us all to integrate the phrase "Sex Person" into our vocabularies and start using it often, generously, and without shame or reservation. And you know what? I fully support the motion. In her article, "Sex People of the World Need to Unite and Make the Term 'Sex Person' a Thing," Lev normalizes the type of people who are open to discussing sex, sexuality, and libido — and by giving them a name, we encourage a culture where people aren't shamed for wanting to discuss something that isn't actually scandalous or lewd (even if it's currently considered taboo). Sounds like a pretty great world to live in, doesn't it?
You're likely able to correctly assume what being a Sex Person might entail; for the curious, though, Lev starts off her article by describing Sex People by what they aren't as opposed to what they are. For example, she says you're not a Sex Person if the thought of sex, sexuality, or genitals makes you blush. You're not a Sex Person if you can only talk about sex in hushed tones to people with whom you are close and no one else, and if even talking to your doctor about sex is challenging for you. You're not a Sex Person if sex isn't on your mind a lot. Basically, you know you're not a Sex Person and so do most other people.
So what does it actually mean to be a Sex Person? What are the kinds of traits Sex People have? Some famous people who could be considered Sex People are Amy Schumer, Rihanna, Sasha Grey, and Salt n Pepa (mostly because they literally sang "Let's Talk About Sex" and put it out for the world to hear); but are you a Sex Person? Is your best friend? Your neighbor in the apartment downstairs? If we're going to make the world a more sex positive place — something which definitely needs to happen — Sex People are going to be an important part of it. You don't have to be having copious amounts of sex of having wild sexual experiences to call yourself a Sex Person; you just have to be willing to talk about your experiences and not feel coy about it.
Here are six ways to determine if you or someone you know might fit this category of people — because lifting the stigma from sex and people who enjoy it (especially women) frees us all.
1. You're the first to notice when a comment could be made sexual.
Because when someone talks about "shucking oysters" or "feeding the kitten," you can't help but laugh.
2. You go into way too much detail about a hookup.
Whether it's his penis size, her kissing skills, how well she ate you out, or how long it took to make him come, your friends probably know the ins and outs of your sex life. If they, too, are Sex People, then they're also A-OK with it.
3. You've probably named your nipples and refer to them by their names openly.
Mine, in case you were wondering, are Bonnie and Clyde. My girlfriend's are Zac and Vanessa.
4. You openly hit on anyone you find attractive, including your friends.
5. Lingerie shops and lingerie shopping doesn't embarrass you.
Whether you're the person buying it or the partner of the person it's for.
6. You can be awkward during sex, and you're not always phenomenal at it, but you don't really care.
Because being a Sex Person doesn't mean being the sexiest person on the face of the planet (looking at you, Margot Robbie); it just means you enjoy sex, enjoy talking about it, and enjoy making sure everyone else enjoys it too.
