I had no idea that The Real Housewives of New York City trip to Turks and Caicos would be so tumultuous for Heather Thomson. Aside from butting heads with Bethenny Frankel a couple of times, the Housewife has been mostly irrelevant this season of RHONY. She must have realized that before this girls' trip because Heather seemed to be looking for a fight once their plane touched down in Turks and Caicos. Case in point: the feud she started with Ramona Singer over a mystery naked man in the vacation house.
So let me set the scene of the ridiculousness that went down. Heather had just made up with Dorinda Medley after she drunkenly berated the Yummie Tummie founder for her frequent use of the F-word and other curses. How no one took issue with Heather constantly shouting "Holla!" I'll never know, but I digress. After that craziness, Heather and Carole Radziwill were done for the night, so they went back to the vacation house while the other ladies went out dancing.
Just another last night in a RHONY vacay destination, right? So, so wrong. Heather woke up the next morning to a naked man sleeping in what had been Bethenny's bed before she left the trip early. As you may recall from the drama these ladies had over picking their bedrooms, Heather and Carole had been sleeping in a room that was connected to Bethenny's room, so they could see her bed down through the bathroom.
Heather was not having this at all. I don't know if she was hungover, exhausted, or it was the salty air, but I think this was the most emotional I have ever seen Heather act on RHONY. She was on the verge of tears, freaking out that a nude dude had been sleeping 20 feet away from her.
Though I think Heather's reaction was a tad extreme, I don't blame her for being so uncomfortable about the situation. If I was in the same situation, I would be weirded out too. Who wants to wake up to a naked stranger in their house? Clearly, these grown-ass women can bring men home with them if they want, but they shouldn't potentially put other people's safety in danger.
So after Heather had this rude awakening, she enlisted Carole to help her frantically run through the house to get to the bottom of the bare-bottom boy in Bethenny's bed and which cougar was responsible for him. Sonja Morgan denied any involvement. Ramona deflected the question to Luann de Lesseps, who said that he was probably Ramona's guy.
The fact of the matter is that all three of these ladies brought men home with them that night to make out on the deck, party, and do who knows what else with, although you probably know what else. After some confusion, they finally figured out that the guy came home with Ramona, but she abandoned him for some reason, and he fell asleep in Bethenny's bed.
Of course, Ramona didn't own up to this. What a shock. Ramona is great at dropping bombs and then having a front-row seat to the aftermath while somehow coming out unscathed. It's a talent, really.
Luann was angry at Ramona for throwing her under the bus once again in this situation, but she was really mad at Heather for getting so riled up about something she didn't think was a big deal at all. I thought Luann lacked an incredible amount of empathy here. Heather is allowed to feel how she feels, OK?
However, the incident did finally deliver the single greatest moment of the season when Luann said, "Be cool. Don't be all, like, uncool." No matter how inconsiderately Luann handled this situation, I can never count out the Countess with a line delivery like that.
Images: Giovanni Rufino/Bravo; Giphy (3)