If there's one thing we worry about in our relationships (whether we care to admit it or not), it's where they're going. Is there a future? Will we get married? Do they want kids? Are they on the same timeline as us? It's not that these questions aren't important. In fact, if you're in a ~serious relationship~, it's necessary to know that you're on the same page. But if you aren't on the same page, it doesn't cancel out the value of the relationship. And to go one step further, just because the two of you aren't on the same page and don't see a future for the relationship doesn't mean the relationship wasn't (or isn't) serious. It's too arbitrary to only assign the "serious" label to people headed for marriage.
So if you are in a "just for now" relationship, and are committed, in love, not in love, or what have you, that doesn't make your relationship any less ~serious~ or meaningful. It's not something you should be getting down on yourself or your partner for. Accepting the value of your relationship for exactly what it is without further expectation is challenging, but it's also embracing what you have in the present and making sure you don't let it get away while it lasts.
Here are seven signs you're in a relationship that's just for now (and why that's okay):
1. You want different things in your life
One of you wants kids. The other doesn't. One of you wants to travel. The other wants to stay put. As long as both of you are being upfront with each other about your expectations, it's okay to continue seeing each other until you can't anymore (as long as the potential of pain down the road is worth it to you now).
2. You don't want to make a long-term commitment
Commitment isn't for everyone. There's no rule book that says you need to want to settle down with someone, and as long as your partner understands where you're coming from, you can look at your relationship as only lasting until it doesn't. You don't have to create additional expectations.
3. You keep things light around each other
If you're at the point where you know it's not going to be a relationship and are shooting for ~just a fling~, you want to keep it lighter, simply because it makes for a more enjoyable time together. The beauty of not being in a long-term relationship is how you don't need to go deeper than you're comfortable with (tee-hee, dirty). If what you're looking for right now is something that is light and fun, then you're justified in keeping it exactly that.
4. You don't harp on about the future or speculate about whether or not you'll be in each other's future
And that's because you know you probably won't be in each other's futures, and you're perfectly fine with that. It's honestly a liberating feeling.
5. You don't try to control each other, because you don't feel overly responsible for each other
And it ends up leading to fewer fights, fewer sore spots, and, sometimes, even a stronger relationship. You don't have the typical relationship concerns of one or both of you messing it up in the long run, because you already know there isn't going to be a long run. It makes you question everything less and have fewer insecurities, and it ends up building more trust.
6. You haven't gone through the motions of introducing them to your friends and your families
Why do you need to? If you like them in the moment but aren't trying to make the relationship anything it isn't, it just doesn't seem necessary to trot them out to meet everyone.
7. You don't feel like you need to be connected to them every second of every day
You are not constantly waiting for them to call or text you, nor are you waiting on them to make a grand gesture or do something out of the ordinary realm of your routine. You are content with the flow of your day-to-day relationship, and don't need anything more for the present. When (or if) you do, you'll get it from someone else.
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