18 Lessons You’ll Learn If You Date A Writer, Like Caffeine Is The Nectar Of The Gods
You learn a lot more than proper grammar if you date a writer. I can doubly vouch for that: my husband and I are both writers, and we've been together more than 10 years. In that time, I've had a chance to be the one bringing her laptop to bed — as well as the one snoozing to the sound of a tapping keyboard. Sometimes it's lonely staying up and staring at a sea of words on the laptop, but it's never boring.
Historically, writing couples have gotten a bad rap (F. Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald, Paul and Jane Bowles, Sylvia Plath and Ted Hughes, anyone?). Whether it's all the time spent mining their emotions (or mutual lives), the sheer number of hours it can take to finish a single, decent sentence, writers can be straight-up hard to be around, let alone hard to be intimate with. But these days, the vast world of social media has granted us access into the personal lives of the literati, and it turns out not all wordsmith duos are chronically at each other's throats. Many of them have cute blogs, adorable dogs, and darling children.
Still, if you're looking for an emotional but highly literate roller coaster ride, I'm sure there's a writer out there to satisfy your heart's wildest desires. In the meantime, here are 18 things you'll learn if you date a writer.
Storytime Can Be Sexy
Please: read Palo Alto to me, J.F.
And Reading Your Partner's Work In Print Is A Treat
It's totally inspiring to see your partner's name in print, especially if you've been watching his or her ideas grow and develop.
A Whole New World Opens Up When You're Both Writers
A better world. In which books matter! And the sound of a sentence can give you goosebumps! A world in which workshop never has to end!
No One Author Always Wins
Although it might seem like Ernest Hemingway is a safe bet, one of you will always be ready to hate on a legend.
But Some Authors Always Seem To Lose
I'm not naming names.
There's Nothing Worse Than A Bad Writing Day
Seriously: Son't expect to turn it around! If you're dating a writer, you learn to read the signs (balled-up paper, five or six different coffee cups, a suddenly overturned bookshelf) so you'll know not to ask, "How'd the novel go today?"
Books You've Always Loved (Or Never Heard Of) Are Suddenly "Tired" Or "Derivative"
Though, more than likely, your writer-partner will come around on The Great Gatsby.
Notebooks Are The Best Accessories
Especially big unruled ones that you can draw in and medium-sized old school spirals and small, flexible ones that fit in purses or jeans' pockets!
And Speaking of Notebooks, You Can Never Have Too Many!
Hey, the medium matters! If you date a writer, you learn that inspiration can require very particular conditions.
On That Note, All Pens Are Not Created Equally
Some just seem to promote distractions.
There's Never A Time When Writing Is Off-Limits
Now you know what's taking so long in the bathroom!
There's No Such Thing As Too Much Caffeine
How do you think writers make magic?
Seriously: No Such Thing
OK, maybe it's not always coffee inside that mug. But whatever your writer's sipping is probably fueling the literary brilliance, and you're happy to be complicit in supplying it.
The Person Writing Always Gets To Do The Interrupting. No Questions Asked.
If the non-writer does the interrupting, it's a bother.
Sometimes, Stating the Obvious IS Effective
In novels, stories, poems, essays — and in pep talks.
Research Can Mean Anything — And It's More Fun Than You Remember From School
See? Corgi puppies? Researched.
Bookstores Are Great For Dates
Especially for two writer couples that benefit from plenty of me-time.
The Idea of Too Much Unconditional Support Is a Myth
Your writer is both a sensitive soul and tough-as-nails warrior: show that writer some love!
Images: Parker Knight/Flickr; Giphy (18)