Despite whatever magical encounters we've witnessed on the big and small screen, first dates can be downright terrifying in real life. You're nervous and trying to portray your best self without coming across as fake. And let's not even talk about the horrors that can come from blind dates. Basically, this whole process can be a fairly stressful experience and there's absolutely no one out there who can vocalize and harness your pain better than Gilmore Girls ' very own Paris Geller. As Rory's No. 1 academic opponent and close confidant, Paris has taken us through all of her highs and lows — even if they often secondary to Rory's antics. This academic juggernaut understands the pressures that can arise throughout social interactions, especially when they're of a romantic nature.
When she wasn't giving out sage advice to Rory, Paris would occasionally take time out of her hardcore studying to attempt a love life of her very own — a task that usually entailed plenty of witty remarks and sarcastic undertones. No degree of education can prepare you for the roller coaster ride that comes from first dates, which is something our lovable Miss Geller discovered firsthand on multiple occasions — multiple hilarious occasions. So without further adieu, here are all the times Paris was you on a first date.
1. When The Guy You're Meeting Is 30 Minutes Late
And you're forced to just sit there while others look at you with pity, thinking that you either a.) got stood up or b.) are eating by yourself. Fun times all around.
2. When He Calls You By The Wrong Name Over Appetizers
Now you can't even enjoy your delicious shrimp cocktail. Thanks, buddy.
3. When You Realize You Have Nothing In Common
Think of this as your internal interest button shutting off. Next!
4. When You Get Home & Realize You Had Something In Your Teeth This Whole Time
Great. Just great. Officially never leaving the house again.
5. When The Check Comes & He Just Sits There
I am all for splitting the bill, but making me pay for the whole thing? Not a great sign.
6. When Your All-Too Attractive Waitress Starts Flirting With Him Right In Front Of You
It's not so much that you're necessarily jealous. In fact, the date may not even be going that well, but still. Rude much?
7. When He Tries To Seal The Deal & Fails Miserably
Yeah, a second date is just not going to happen.
8. When You Get A Text In The Middle Of Dinner Informing You That Yet Another One Of Your Friends Is Engaged
And as of now, your prospects have never looked bleaker.
9. When He Can't Seem To Stop Checking His Phone
And while you have no actual proof, odds are he's texting with other girls. Awesome.
10. When You Mentally Decide To Swear Off The Opposite Sex For Good
From now on, the only thing you want to be setting up dates with is your Netflix account.
11. When It Causes You To Look To The Future
And remind yourself that this bad date will only make you stronger.
Images: Warner Bros.; friday-night-dinner/Tumblr (3); lukesdane/Tumblr; fuckyeahparisgeller/Tumblr (4); Giphy (2); shitthesignssay/Tumblr
