Writing an obituary for a loved one, especially a parent, is probably one of the most difficult things to do — I'm terrible at writing yearbook messages that don't sound like the canned "I wish you all the best of luck in your future endeavors"-type message, let alone capturing the essence of two of my favorite people on Earth. But when Sandy Stocks' mother Mary Patricia died, he took a great approach to her memory, using humor to write Mary Patricia Stocks the best obituary of all time. Hey listen up, family! Take notes. I've never thought about my obituary before this moment, but now I know what I want mine to say.
The obituary begins, "Pat Stocks, 94, passed away peacefully at her home in bed July 1, 2015. It is believed it was caused from carrying her oxygen tank up the long flight of stairs to her bedroom that made her heart give out." It continues, "She left behind a hell of a lot of stuff to her daughter and son who have no idea what to do with it," then lists a bunch of the aforementioned items, such as "2 extremely large TV's from the 90's" and instructs people who are interested in the items to "wait the appropriate amount of time and get in touch."
But the best part is when the obituary actually talks about Pat and her personality. It reads:
This is not an ad for a pawn shop, but an obituary for a great Woman, Mother, Grandmother and Great-Grandmother born on May 12, 1921 in Toronto, the daughter of the late Pop (Alexander C.) and Granny (Annie Nigh) Morris. She leaves behind a very dysfunctional family that she was very proud of. Pat was world-renowned for her lack of patience, not holding back her opinion and a knack for telling it like it is. She always told you the truth even if it wasn't what you wanted to hear. It was the school of hard knocks and yes we were told many times how she had to walk for miles in a blizzard to get to school, so suck it up. With that said she was genuine to a fault, a pussy cat at heart (or lion) and yet she sugar coated nothing.
This is amazing and I practically feel like I knew Pat. Maybe because her potty mouth, no-nonsense attitude, and "quirky" cooking style remind me so much of both of my own grandmas, and I think we all know at least one sassy elderly person who fits these characteristics. But either way, this is a wonderful tribute to who I can only imagine was an amazing woman. We should all hope to be remembered like this.
Sandy told CTV that his family will be holding a private "celebration of life," rather than a funeral, because her friends would not be able to attend, "because they decided to beat her to the Pearly Gates." I highly recommend reading the entire obituary here.
Images: Alex Santos Silva / Flickr; Giphy