Why Are The Euphoria Kids So Bad At Math?

As poet laureate Hilary Duff once said, “If you can’t do the math, then get out of the equation.” Either the Euphoria kids didn’t get the message, or Duff was before their time.

The former East Highland students are making viewers question how they possibly could’ve graduated from high school, because, from the looks of Season 3, none of them have passed algebra. (Maybe the fans who wish they were still in high school had a good point.)

The discrepancies started when Rue (Zendaya) was confronted by her former drug dealer, Laurie (Martha Kelly), who said she still owed her $10,000 from years ago — but with interest, that number ballooned to $43 million. Sure, Laurie said she’d “settle” for $100,000, making it clear that it was simply an intimidation tactic. But still, Rue somehow never questioned how she did business.

Technically, Laurie did the math correctly, as $10,000 with 20% compounded monthly interest for 46 months equals $43 million. But poor Rue failed to realize it was an insanely high interest rate that would never be used in the real world, meaning she likely didn’t take economics in school.

Meanwhile, despite having a successful family business practically handed to him, Nate (Jacob Elordi) has apparently managed to deplete his bank accounts. He is over $600,000 in debt to sketchy businessmen thanks to a residential development plan gone awry. Since the neighborhood hasn’t been built, and he didn’t want to splurge on his fiancée’s dream wedding... where exactly did the money go?

As a result, Cassie (Sydney Sweeney) left him to make her own money on OnlyFans, some of which she’s been generous enough to send to her new husband. Does this mean Cassie is more proficient at math than her former classmates? Possibly.

However, even her financial skills are questionable: she eventually guilted Nate into spending over $50,000 on wedding floral arrangements after he pressured her to stop OnlyFans (for a short time), only for the flowers to look tacky as hell. OK, sure, this is a matter of subjective taste, not mathematical skills. But it still proves that Cassie isn’t that financially savvy.

Thank Beyoncé for Alexa Demie’s Maddy. Sure, she may not be getting her bag quite yet, but not only has she proven her penchant for scouting and fostering talent, but she also knows how to maximize their income, showing at least a basic understanding of how math works. Is it too late for her to teach a class to her former schoolmates?