Hilary Duff’s “The Optimist” Reveals Her Strained Relationship With Her Dad

Hilary Duff is showing more vulnerability than ever before on her new album luck... or something, her first in 10 years. On “The Optimist,” co-written and produced by her husband, Matthew Koma, the singer opens up about her complicated relationship with her father, Robert, for the first time, extending a heartbreaking olive branch.

Atop a soothing country guitar, Duff waxes poetic about consulting a hypnotist, who tells her to confront the trauma that she’s been avoiding. “I wish I could sleep on planes and that my father would really love me,” she admits, dreaming of ways that her dad could come back into her life, from showing up to her wedding to simple daily conversations about the weather.

Duff is determined to stay optimistic about reconciling with her father, but as she pleads in the final chorus, it becomes clear just how much it’s weighing on her. “My door is open just in case, you don’t even have to say you’re sorry,” she tenderly sings. “I already forgive you for all of it, but it’s hard to exist as the optimist.”

Before the new album, Duff rarely commented on her family dynamics. Her parents, Susan and Robert, separated in 2006 after nearly 20 years of marriage, which inspired some songs on her 2007 album Dignity. They finalized their divorce in 2008 after a contentious legal battle.

In a recent interview with Glamour, Duff revealed why she decided to open up about her family’s struggles on luck... or something, including “We Don’t Talk,” which addresses her rumored estrangement from her sister Haylie.

“That’s my family. Those are the people that affect you the most, take up the most space naturally as a human who’s born into something,” she said. “Just because you’re born into a family doesn’t mean that it always stays together. You can only control your side and your street… I’ve had a very complicated life, and my parents had a very complicated thing. I know it’s not rare, and I think it goes back to the theme of, Why share now? I guess I just felt ready.”

Hilary Duff’s “The Optimist” Lyrics

Last night I went to see a hypnotist

Asked her to teach me not to dream

I’ve got too much I think about

An overdrawn account of people

I’ve been too afraid to need

She said, “I’m no history revisionist

And there’s some things I can’t undo

You’ve got a tiny splinter on

The tip of your finger

It demands all the attention in the room”

I wish I could sleep on planes

And that my father would really love me

He’d show up on my wedding day

And tell my family they’re all so lucky

He’d tell me how he wish he stayed

And that he never meant to disappoint me

But ’til then I’ll exist as the optimist

I was an emotional architect

Who knew your dimensions more than you

I learned which way you turned your back

To let go of eye contact

And which bottles made you feel most immune

I wish I could sleep on planes

And that my father would really love me

I wouldn’t have to feel such shame

Around how often and how deep it cuts me

He’d call me almost every day

How’s the weather? Are you eating, hunny?

But ’til then I’ll exist as the optimist

I know a dirty little magic trick

To disappear and disconnect

Maybe I learned it from the best

Thank you I guess

Yeah, if you saw it, I bet I’d earn your respect

I wish I could sleep on planes

And that my father would really love me

It wouldn’t take his dying day

Some sort of signature that he needs from me

My door is open just in case

You don’t even have to say you’re sorry

I already forgive you for all of it

But it’s hard to exist as the optimist