Music
The Real Meaning Behind Marcus Mumford’s “Cannibal” Is Actually Really Dark
“I think this process has saved my life,” the singer said of sharing his story.
Content warning: This article contains references to child sex abuse.
Marcus Mumford, best known as the lead singer of Mumford & Sons, has opened up publicly for the first time about his harrowing experience of child abuse. Recollections of his past directly fed into the deeply emotional opener “Cannibal” from his forthcoming debut solo album called (Self-Titled), out on September 16.
“Like lots of people, and I’m learning more and more about this as we go and as I play it to people, I was sexually abused as a child,” Mumford told GQ. “Not by family and not in the church, which might be some people’s assumption. But I hadn’t told anyone about it for 30 years.” Mumford was six years old when the abuse took place.
During lockdown, the Mumford & Sons frontman’s parents moved in next door, and shared a wall with his recording studio. He and his mum later spoke about the track after he played her its direct, gut-wrenching opening lyrics for the first time: “I can still taste you and I hate it/That wasn't a choice in the mind of a child and you knew it.”
“Couple of days later, [she said] ‘Can I ask what that song’s about?’” Mumford recalled. “I was like, ‘Yeah, it’s about the abuse thing.’ She was like, ‘What are you talking about?’ So once we get through the trauma of that moment for her, as a mother, hearing that and her wanting to protect and help and all that stuff, it’s objectively f*cking hilarious to tell your mum about your abuse in a f*cking song, of all things.” That conversation sparked much of Mumford’s forthcoming solo record, and the artist says he knew afterwards that “Cannibal” needed to be the opening track.
Elsewhere in the interview, Mumford spoke about reaching “rock bottom” and seeking therapy following the release of Mumford & Son’s fourth album, Delta. It was here, he explains, that he began addressing his trauma — and talking about his experiences for the first time caused him to be physically sick. “Apparently, it’s very common,” Mumford said. “Once you basically unhook the denial and start the process of removing some suppression, then it’s very natural for that stuff to come out. I’d had problems breathing all my life. Not asthma but just, like, catching my breath.”
“That thing that happened when I was six, that was the first of a string of really unusual, unhealthy sexual experiences at a really early age,” he explained. “And for some reason, and I can’t really understand why, I didn’t become a perpetrator of sexual abuse — although I’ve done my fair share of c**tish behaviour. [It was a] string of really unhealthy sh*t when I was under the age of 12, which set my brain up in a way to deal with stuff later on in life in an imbalanced way. And so the last three years has just been trying to look at that and correct some balance.”
“It obviously builds up a pattern of shame in your life,” Mumford said, in a separate interview with The Times. Of listeners who will hear “Cannibal” and praise him for speaking out, he remarked: “I don’t look at it as bravery. I look at it like it’s the truth.”
Sharing his experiences, meanwhile, has lifted a weight. “I think this process has saved my life,” he said, reflecting upon the progress he’s made.
The NSPCC offers support, advice, and resources to support anybody affected by child abuse.
Read the lyrics in full, here:
I can still taste you and I hate it
That wasn't a choice in the mind of a child and you knew it
You took the first slice of me and you ate it raw
Ripped it in with your teeth and your lips like a cannibal
You f*cking animal
I can still taste you and it kills me
That there's still some sick part of it that thrills me
That my own body keeps betraying me
There is such power there, it may destroy me
But it compels me
Of course I deny it
Can hardly believe it
Dismiss or demean it
'Cause I know I can't speak it
But when I began to tell, it became thе hardest thing I ever said out loud
Thе words got locked in my throat
Man, I choked
And this is what it feels like to be free
Even though it follows back down
Stares into the dark with me
Even then I deny it
Can hardly believe it
Dismiss or demean it
But I know I must speak it
If I could forgive you now
Release you from all of the blame I know how
If I could forgive you now
As if saying the words will help me know how
To begin again
Help me know how to begin
Help me know how
To begin again
Help me know how
To begin again
Begin again
