19 Things You’ll Love On Amazon If You’re Shady AF

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Sometimes, it's good to be a little shady. Between roommates, family, and nosey officemates, there's a lot of folks in your business and it's okay to let them know you're not having it. Whether you want some more privacy or you just want people to back off, there are some amazing products on Amazon that will help you be your best, shady self.

If you've got a desk mate at work who keeps staring over your shoulder whenever you get a text, there's a sneaky phone screen that'll totally block their view. Maybe you've got a roommate that loves to steal your favorite foods. Well, you can get yourself a fridge lock to keep your snacks safe against their thieving fingers.

Some of these sneaky items get into some James Bond-level spy territory. Sneak away an SD drive in a case that looks like a quarter or an outlet that’s really a safe. And of course, being shady doesn’t always mean being sneaky — there are some great products out there for when you just want to be a little passive-aggressive or let people know you’d rather be left alone with a glass of wine. Being a little sly or wanting your privacy is not a bad thing. So, check out some of these low-key sneaky products and live up to your full shady potential.


This Screen That Stops Spying Eyes

JETech iPhone Anti-Spy Screen Protector, $10 (2 Pack), Amazon

With a twist of your hand, your phone goes completely dark with this anti-spy screen. From straight on, the screen is perfectly bright at readable, but at any other angle, it looks totally dark. So, everything on your phone stays private. Plus, the screen is made of tempered glass, so it's extremely shatter-resistant, fingerprint-proof, and durable.


This Safe That Hides In Plain Sight

Stalwart Trademark Home Dictionary Diversion Safe, $15, Amazon

Almost 2,000 people on Amazon love this sneaky safe. It looks just like an average dictionary, but locks to hold any of your beloved valuables. It's made from metal, and also comes with two keys for added security.


This Flask That Looks Like A Hairbrush

Bincoktails Bev-Brush Secret Flask, $19, Amazon

When you want a little liquor on the DL, try this hairbrush flask. It looks totally normal, but holds six ounces of your favorite booze. Plus, it still works as a hairbrush, so it's a pretty stellar two-for-one.


These Notes That Are Hilariously Passive Aggressive

Knock Knock Passive Aggressive Nifty Note, $7, Amazon

Instead of being coy and trying to leave a nice note for someone that's annoying you, just embrace your passive-aggressive ways with this note pad. With these notes, you can leave a message for your aggravating co-worker without worrying about getting too mean. Plus, the pad is hilarious, so it might encourage you to leave a few more notes for the annoying people around you.


This Pocket That Hides In Your Bra

Eagle Creek Silk Undercover Bra Stash, $14, Amazon

We've all had to stash some cash in our bras, but this pocket makes it much easier. This little pocket attaches to your bra so you can keep cards, cash, an ID, or anything else safely stowed between your boobs. Your stuff is completely concealed and you won't have to worry about your cell phone falling out of your bra cup.


This Backpack That's Extra Safe To Travel With

Mancro Anti Theft Business Laptop Backpack, $47, Amazon

Nobody'll bust into this backpack but you. The bag has serious theft prevention like a heavy duty combination lock and tons of pockets to keep your valuables hidden from view. Plus, there's an external USB with cable, so you can keep everything charged with ease.


This Thigh Garter You Can Hide Stuff In


beileisi Concealed Lace Thighband, $20, Amazon

This lace thigh garter has a little pocket in it that allows you to stash a phone, spare cash, or whatever else you want to keep concealed under your outfit. It features strips of non-slip silicone on the inner garter to grip to keep it in place for a secure non-slipping fit, and it comes in four sizes.


This Attachment That Turns Your Wine Bottle Into A Glass

Guzzle Buddy, $22, Amazon

This clever attachment turns your wine bottle into a glass, giving you the proper wine drinking experience we could all probably use on a stressful day. Reviewers love that this thing secures tight enough to any bottle without leaking. If you want to be extra shady, bring it to your next dinner party along so you can actually drink the wine you bought.


This Phone Case That Lets You Hide Things In Your iPhone

Spigen Slim Armor CS iPhone 7 Case, $17, Amazon

This phone case, compatible with the iPhone 7 and iPhone 8, allows you to discreetly carry your ID, cash, credit cards, or vital notes. Although the case is so thin it's barely noticeable, the built-in storage has space for two cards as well as cash. The case even has an easy-to-open sliding cover and tactile buttons for quick access to your stuff.


This Touchscreen Cleaner To Remove Any Trace Of Fingerprints

iRoller Touchscreen Cleaner, $19, Amazon

Though I don’t condone sneaking a peek at anyone else’s device, this touchscreen cleaner will remove any fingerprints you may accidentally leave behind on any smartphone or tablet. But it's not just for sneaky people, its also a handy way to clean and sanitize any screen. It’s only 3.5 inches long, so you can keep it in your purse or pocket, and since it’s liquid-free, you won’t have to worry about damaging any electronics.


This Safe That Looks Like A Soda Can

AriZona Diversion Safe, $16, Amazon

Nobody would ever guess this can of green tea is actually a safe! This discreet safe is a great way to hide away, cash, jewelry, or anything else you want to keep out of the public eye. Plus, even empty, it weighs as much as a normal can, so no one will ever know your secret.


This Cover That Completely Obscures Your Webcam

Toojcc Webcam Cover Slider (6-Pack), $5, Amazon

Prone to being hacked? Suspicious of spies? Then check out this super-thin webcam cover that sticks to almost any laptop without preventing it from being able to close. The cover slides back and forth so for easy access to your camera and it can be used on a phone, tablet, or computer. Plus, with this order, you get six cover slides so you’ll be set for a while.


This Scarf That's Actually A Flask

BAXBO FlaskScarf, $26, Amazon

No one will ever know that your super cute infinity scarf is actually a flask. The scarf hides away eight ounces of your favorite booze while the knit jersey fabric is comfortable enough to wear in any weather. You'll probably want to wear this scarf whether you're hauling hooch or not, it's just that practical.


These Hilarious Cards That Shame The Bad Parkers Of The World

Witty Yeti Bad Parking Business Cards, $12 (50 Pack), Amazon

Sometimes, you can't let the people that park like idiots get away with it —and now, you can use these clever cards to tell those people how bad they are at it. They're printed on thick, UV coated paper, and they'll certainly get your message across loud and clear.


This Lock That Keeps Your Laptop Safe

Kensington Dell Laptop Lock, $25, Amazon

Ever work on your laptop at a coffee shop, then have to pack everything up just to go to the bathroom? Don't worry about that mess with this laptop lock. The combination lock fits into any Dell or Allenware laptop while the six-foot cable attaches to any surface to make sure your computer stays right where it is — and you can even use it at home if you're tired of people borrowing your stuff. With 10,000 possible combinations, nobody's going to take your stuff. Looking for a lock compatible with a different laptop model? Check out this one, with a universal fit (excluding Dell).


This Fake Rock Where You Can Hide A Spare Key

RamPro Hide-a-Spare-Key Fake Rock, $7, Amazon

This fake rock is made of molded poly-resin that looks and feels exactly like a rock. It's immune to the weather and weighing about as much as you’d expect a rock to weigh. This means no one will suspect you’re using it to hide your spare key — or anything else you choose to stash in it. Toss is under a bush or elsewhere in your yard, and you’ll never be locked out again.


This Tiny Safe That Looks Like An Ordinary Air Vent

Professional Grade Products Hidden Air Vent Wall Safe, $77, Amazon

If you want to go to the supreme level of sneakiness, give this wall safe a try. It looks like an ordinary air vent, but unlocks to reveal a tiny safe. Any of your small valuables will be totally secure and even the cleverest thief won't be able to find them.


These Blackout Curtains That Keep Anyone From Seeing In Your Window

Nicetown Insulated Solid Blackout Curtains, $26, Amazon

For the ultimate in privacy, these polyester blackout curtains block out more than 85 percent of light and even muffle noises — essentially turning any room into a bunker. The triple-weave fabric is machine washable, available in 15 colors, and also insulates against both the heat and cold.


This Stealthy Hair Clip That’s Also A Screwdriver And More

Haxtec Multi Tool Tactical Hair Clips (3-Pack), $8, Amazon

This three-pack of clever multitool clip looks and functions as a hair clip while also being a top-notch screwdriver, cutter, ruler, and more. The opportunities for its handiness are endless, and no one will ever know what you have neatly stowed away in your hair. And since the “hair clip” is made of stainless steel, it’ll last you ages.