11 Mistakes Right-Brained People Make In Relationships & How To Fix Them
Everyone has their own unique sets of strengths and weaknesses that they bring to relationships — as well as life in general. But if you break it down into left-brained versus right-brained characteristics, it may offer greater insight into these strengths and weaknesses, as well as people's personalities in general.
For right-brained people in relationships, it's easy to see how their creative nature might benefit them when it comes to love. "Right-brained people tend to be more heart-centered and creative. They interact with the world based on feelings, direct experience, and intuition," life coach and author Jaya Jaya Myra tells Bustle. "It means that they perceive more about life than meets the eye, and make their decisions based on this expanded field of perception." Left-brained people, on other hand, tend to be driven by logic, reason, and thought — which definitely has its perks, along with its difficulties.
Dating someone who is right-brained has obvious plus sides, but experts say these inherent traits can also hold them back from being a truly great partner, if they aren't careful. For example, their intuitive nature can turn into a dangerous game of mind reading. And their creativity and spontaneity can sometimes come off as a lack of caring.
But, of course, this isn't the whole story when it comes to the brain, or how someone might act in a relationship. While you can use these commonalities as a map to help navigate relationships, the below traits are by no means overarching for everyone. Here are a few ways experts say being right-brained may hold someone back in a relationship.
1. They Struggle To Stay Organized
Right-brained people tend to have a million projects and ideas swirling through their minds, and their lives can get a bit messy as a result. While this can be super charming at first, it doesn't always prove beneficial in a relationship.
"The biggest challenge someone with these tendencies faces in a relationship is navigating the 'logistics' of a committed long-term relationship," clinical psychologist Dr. Josh Klapow, host of The Web radio show, tells Bustle. "Scheduling time to be together, dividing household chores, being responsible for home maintenance, bills, etc. All of these are absolutely essential for a successful relationship, but for a right-brained person they are less on their radar screen."
If your partner is right-brained, come up with a plan together on how to divide these key logistics in your relationship. Set time to discuss, and allow the right-brained person in your relationship the creativity to come up with fun compromises to seemingly boring tasks, like chores. This way, the right-brained partner can stay engaged and grounded, while still being themselves.
2. They May Not Be Predictable
Since they're also known for their spontaneity, right-brained people kill it when it comes to planning last-minute trips and fun date nights. But when it comes to being stable in a relationship, this same trait may cause them to struggle.
"Relationships need stability, predictability, and consistency as much as they need novelty and spontaneity," says Klapow. "So a right-brained person may either struggle with these more 'operational' tasks or they may not see them as valuable to the relationship. And the problem can blossom."
For a relationship to be successful, balance between stability and spontaneity is key. If your right-brained partner is having a difficult time finding that balance, discuss what compromises you can make so both your needs are met.
3. They Try To "Mind Read"
Right-brained people are incredibly intuitive, which can come in handy in relationships, since they always seem to catch on when their partner is feeling down. But it may also cause them to "mind read" or assume they know what's going on in their partner's head — even when they really don't.
As Myra says, "Right-brained people can put more importance on their perceptions than on what you actually tell them, and that can lead to all sorts of problems." If this is a reoccurring issue, help your partner refocus, and open up lines of healthier and more direct communication. One way to do this? Express how you are feeling without placing blame on them to help them better understand what you need in the moment.
4. They Might Act Like A Parent, Instead Of A Partner
While it's great that right-brained people want to nurture their partners, they may take the mother/father role too far. "Having a heightened awareness and openness can lend itself to caregiving and thinking you know better than someone else does," says Myra. "And just because you can sense someone needs to be nurtured doesn't always mean it's the right time or place, or that you are the right person to provide that."
Of course this isn't always the case, and this characteristic can be a big plus side to your partner. But if you are finding their nurturing has become a bit excessive, be transparent about your needs from the start — let them know when you want them to comfort you, and when you do not.
5. They May Overlook Relationship Problems
"Artistic creative types are notorious for not having a grounded perspective on life," says Myra. If this is your partner, their tendency to look at the world through rose-colored glasses may lead to a variety of problems, such as assuming any and all relationship issues will magically work themselves out. "Sometimes you have to work really hard at something, and it takes more than just positivity to make things work out as they should."
This situation can be easily remedied by discussing any misunderstandings with your partner upfront. If you two can stay on the same page, and keep communication flowing, you'll both be able to stay grounded in reality, and discuss problems as they arise.
6. They Can Jump To Conclusions
Again, right-brained folks tend to be in tune with their emotions, and as a result, they may jump to conclusions when it comes to their partner's emotions, therapist Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW tells Bustle. This is similar to the mind reading problem mentioned above in that they assume they know what's going on in their partner's head — without actually talking about it.
If you feel like your partner has made a habit out of jumping to conclusions, it might help to discuss the problem and come up with ways to be more open about your emotions, so that neither of you has to guess.
7. They Can Let Their Partner Down
Someone who's right-brained may let their partner down without even realizing it, because of their "scatterbrained" nature. "Many scattered individuals do not do this intentionally; they may become involved in something they are doing and lose track of time," spiritual counselor Davida Rappaport tells Bustle. "They may even lose notes they wrote to themselves to remember to do things. In a relationship, if their partner is organized and depends upon them, this can cause frustration and drama."
Let's say your partner is in the habit of dropping the ball when it comes to doing chores around the house, remembering important events, etc. In order for things to feel more fair, come up with a plan that'll help you both stay on the same page, so neither one of you is left hanging.
8. They Tend To React Emotionally
There's usually nothing wrong with having strong emotional reactions to life's ups and downs. But right-brained folks may take it a bit too far. "They may respond or lash out without thinking," says Rappaport. "They may speak first and think later."
If this issue is getting out of hand in your relationship, seeing a couples therapist is never a bad idea. They can help you both come up with coping mechanisms and ways to handle your emotions in a healthier way.
9. They Can Be Difficult To Live With
Since right-brained people tend to attract clutter — and often leave projects lying around, or get too distracted to pick up after themselves — living with them might mean picking up their messes 24/7, or else submitting to living in a pile of clutter.
"They also may have a problem getting rid of things such as magazines articles, clippings, books, and miscellaneous notes and papers because the information contained within provide them with flashes of inspiration," Rappaport says.
If this sounds familiar, it's important to keep in mind that you both come to the relationship with strengths and weakness, and plenty of quirks. While it'll be key to work out a system where you both have a responsibility for your apartment, and getting chores done, it's also important to accept each others' positives and negatives — and learn to live with the results.
10. They Can Keep Odd Hours
Right-brained people tend to keep odd hours when it comes to their sleep schedule, which can lead to a few relationship problems if they live together and their partner tends to fall asleep at a more typical time, such as before 3 a.m.
"Some creative people may keep odd hours," says Rappaport. And if that's at odds with their partner, it can create problems. If this is happening in your relationship, you might head off to bed at 11 p.m., while your partner is just waking up and getting started with their day.
While this situation works for some couples, others find that they miss their partner, or feel like two ships passing the night. One way to remedy this situation is to make the most of the time when you're both up, maybe by making a point of catching up over dinner, or going on a date together on the weekends when it's possible to stay up a little later.
11. They May Try To "Fix" Their Partner
"Intuitive people in relationships often want to try to fix their partner," says Rappaport. But this type of "help" can sometimes backfire. If you aren't careful, Rappaport says it can come off as a lack of acceptance, instead of help. And that can lead to disagreements and hurt feelings.
While not everyone with right-brained characteristics will do this, it is an issue that may crop up. If you notice this problem in your partner, it can help to remind yourselves that your each other's partner — not a therapist. While you can offer support, it's important to accept each other for who you are.
Because, when it comes to relationships, everyone comes to the table with different strengths and weaknesses. If someone is right-brained, they will bring all sorts of fun and creativity to a relationship, but — like all of us — they can also do a few things wrong. And yet, if you can talk about it and be transparent, it's still completely possible to maintain a healthy relationship.