Life

The Funny Things People Do When They're Turned On

by Emma McGowan
BDG Media, Inc.

I talk about sex a lot. I talk about sex acts, about consent, about rape culture, about gender, about kink, about sex work — basically anything sex-related, I talk about it. It’s literally my job to talk about sex and, as a result, sometimes I forget that a lot of time sex is really funny. Think about it: You mush your body up against someone else’s body, both of you produce a bunch of fluids and make weird sounds, and then you fall asleep.

It’s ridiculous! Which is why I was glad both as a sex-positive activist and as someone who needs a reminder sometimes about the funny aspects of sex to stumble across #WhenIAmArousedI on Twitter. While the hashtag itself is a bit cumbersome, the tweets are hilarious. The premise is pretty self-explanatory: People are tweeting about what happens when they’re aroused. However, because this is Twitter, there are more silly responses than serious, sexy responses — and I’m totally cool with that. It’s been a rough 2017 so far and any levity — especially if it’s sex-related — is welcome on my social media feeds.

So with that in mind, here are the 13 best tweets from the trending #WhenImAroundI hashtag. Enjoy! And feel free to laugh out loud. It'll do you good.

1Salivate Uncontrollably

I think we all can relate to feeling this way about pizza, really.

2Twinsies!

YOU DO THAT TOO??

3O Face

Literally everyone looks like this.

4Poor Location Choice

Unclear which is the problem here: The gym shorts... Or the Petsmart?

5Cheese Love

And with one tweet, I will never eat Swiss cheese again.

6As American As...

Dammit, American Pie!

7His Milkshake Brings All The Girls To The Yard

This might legit be my favorite.

8Totally Inconspicuous!

No one will ever notice!

9Me Every Time

I mean, have you ever actually looked at your turned-on face? No? Good. Don't.

10Awwwwkward

Yup.

11WWDD: What Would Deadpool Do?

Probably not the best character to turn for guidance but, you know, to each his own I guess?

12The Best Come On

Definitely effective.

13Oh, We Know.

(Rooster? I don't get it.)