I talk about sex a lot. I talk about sex acts, about consent, about rape culture, about gender, about kink, about sex work — basically anything sex-related, I talk about it. It’s literally my job to talk about sex and, as a result, sometimes I forget that a lot of time sex is really funny. Think about it: You mush your body up against someone else’s body, both of you produce a bunch of fluids and make weird sounds, and then you fall asleep.
It’s ridiculous! Which is why I was glad both as a sex-positive activist and as someone who needs a reminder sometimes about the funny aspects of sex to stumble across #WhenIAmArousedI on Twitter. While the hashtag itself is a bit cumbersome, the tweets are hilarious. The premise is pretty self-explanatory: People are tweeting about what happens when they’re aroused. However, because this is Twitter, there are more silly responses than serious, sexy responses — and I’m totally cool with that. It’s been a rough 2017 so far and any levity — especially if it’s sex-related — is welcome on my social media feeds.
So with that in mind, here are the 13 best tweets from the trending #WhenImAroundI hashtag. Enjoy! And feel free to laugh out loud. It'll do you good.
#WhenImArousedI slowly take off any obstructions , I salivate uncontrollably and then I take my first bite of that pizza 🍕— Ro 👔 (@RowRoRowurBoat) January 31, 2017
I think we all can relate to feeling this way about pizza, really.
#WhenImArousedI put a banana in my pocket so it looks like I have two— 13th Grade (@13thGradeBros) January 31, 2017
YOU DO THAT TOO??
Literally everyone looks like this.
4Poor Location Choice
#WhenImArousedI should prob not be in gym shorts at Petsmart— CashMe Waffles (@Wook316) January 31, 2017
Unclear which is the problem here: The gym shorts... Or the Petsmart?
#WhenImArousedI sometimes take it out on a Swiss cheese wheel in the grocery store.— Gonzo DeMann (@GonzoDeMann) January 31, 2017
And with one tweet, I will never eat Swiss cheese again.
6As American As...
Dammit, American Pie!
7His Milkshake Brings All The Girls To The Yard
This might legit be my favorite.
No one will ever notice!
9Me Every Time
I mean, have you ever actually looked at your turned-on face? No? Good. Don't.
11WWDD: What Would Deadpool Do?
Probably not the best character to turn for guidance but, you know, to each his own I guess?
12The Best Come On