For those of us who like flowers, but have trouble caring for them, the 2019 Valentine’s Day season has been a boon: While course bouquets of gorgeous greenery remain a perfectly acceptable gift, Valentine's Day bouquets you can eat have been on the rise. Not only are these kinds of bouquets delicious, but more importantly, we do not have to keep them alive. Everybody wins!
The tradition of giving not just flowers in general, but roses in particular to our sweethearts on Valentine’s Day stem from the Victorian preoccupation with floriography, or “flower language” — a coded way to communicate your emotions during a strict, laced-up era. Red roses in particular were said to communicate “an expression of passionate or true love,” as Bustle’s Lily Feinn put it in 2017, while pink roses meant “warm affection” and yellow roses “joy, friendship, [and] new beginnings. We’ve since broadened out to giving bouquets of all kinds of flowers — not everyone digs roses, after all — and even beyond flowers, too.
Of course, edible bouquets aren’t new, either; over the past 20 year or so, though, they’ve really gained steam. Edible Arrangements no doubt helped popularize them after the company’s founding in 1999 — and now, edible bouquets have truly come into their own. They’re not just sweet anymore, either; quite a few options are savory, so if you’d rather munch on something salty than sugary, these bouquets have you covered.
It is, however, anyone’s guess what a bouquet of beef jerky says according to “flower language.”
I’m just… gonna let that one sit there.
Anyway, here are 13 edible bouquets to gift your favorite person this year:
1. Reese’s Bouquet
You’ve no doubt seen this bouquet full of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups floating around; it’s one of the first unique edible bouquets that started making the rounds this year. 36 peanut butter cups are nestled in between orange faux flowers for a tasty and bright Valentine’s Day treat.
2. Salami Bouquet
Nothing says “I love you” like charcuterie (or something) — and happily, this salami bouquet is up to the challenge. The $85, six-“stem” arrangement seen here includes one each of Olympia’s Saucisson Sec, Loukanika, Cacciatore, Saucisson d'Alsace, Salami Nola, and Chorizo Rioja salamis; however, a $50, three-“stem” version is also available.
3. Doughnut Bouquet
If I’m being perfectly honest, this bouquet is my favorite of the bunch. It comes with 10 mini cake doughnuts on sticks. And I LOVE doughnuts.
4. Oreo Bouquet
The Reese’s bouquet isn’t the only novelty bouquet Walmart has up its sleeve for Valentine’ Day this year; in fact, there’s a whole array of them, including this bright blue Oreo option. 19 package of Oreos, delightfully presented to resemble a flower arrangement? Yes, please.
5. Beef Jerky Bouquet
I’ll admit that I am unclear about why jerky is always marketed as an aggressively masculine item (people of all genders can and do enjoy jerky…?), but I guess I will let slide the fact that this bouquet is sold by “the Manly Man Co.,” because it is GLORIOUS. A half or full dozen of delightful flowers made entirely out of original, teriyaki, or hot jerky can be yours for $49 or $69, depending on the size of the arrangement.
6. Cake Pop Bouquet
Based in Middleboro, Mass., Veronica’s Treats specializes in unique, made-to-order baked goods — and their cake pops are apparently really somethin’ else. Get 12 Valentine’s Day themed ones in this cute little arrangement.
7. Chips & Snacks Bouquet
If your favorite person would rather snack on something salty than sweet, this Ruffles-, Cheetos-, Lays-, Fritos-, and Doritos-laden arrangement might be just what they’re dreaming of.
8. Butter Cookie Bouquet
Butter cookies glazed with brightly colored icing, all smiling up at you before devour them is absolutely my brand. You’ve got four sizes to choose from; the smallest is five cookies, while the largest is a full dozen. Seen here is the mid-range variety, which has seven cookies. Yum.
9. Doughnut Pop Bouquet
Can’t decide between a doughnut bouquet or a cake pop bouquet? Split the difference with a doughnut pop bouquet. This limited edition from Dylan’s Candy Bar’s Valentine’s Day collection comes packaged in a resealable, reusable cooler and gift box.
10. Bacon Bouquet
We’ve probably all seen that wacky little breakfast hack floating around the internet — you know, the one that teaches you to make roses out of bacon strips — but if it seems, uh, outside your skill set, it’s nice to know that someone will make those bacon roses for you. A dozen of these suckers are just shy of $90, but if you want to go all out, you can also nab three dozen for about $200. (Bless you if you have that kind of disposable income.)
11. Chocolate-Covered Strawberry Bouquet
Nothing beats a classic, and nobody does this PARTICULAR classic better than Edible Arrangement. Grapes, pineapple slices shaped like hearts, and regular strawberries join the chocolate-covered berries that star in this bouquet.
12. Candy Flower Bouquet
Leave it to Sugarfina to come up with this one. Made in Italy, it features candy-coated “flower petals” made out of chocolate. You can also personalize exactly which “blooms” go into it.
13. Pickle Bouquet
You’re going to have to assemble this one yourself, but if you have a pickle lover in your life, it’ll be totally worth it. Find out how to do it here.
Happy Valentine's Day! Treat yourself. Treat someone else. We all deserve it.