14 Funny Halloween Instagram Captions That Will Get Laughs Instead Of Screams

by Kaitlyn Wylde
Originally Published: 
Warner Bros. Television

Once you've figured out your Halloween costume, you can actually relax and enjoy the holiday. But once you're done enjoying it, a new task will arise: captioning your Halloween pictures for social media. Just when you thought the clever brainstorming was over, you're confronted with a stress-ridden responsibility that will make or break your post. To make your life a little bit easier, I've put together a list of funny Halloween Instagram captions for you.

You'd actually be surprised just how many famous comedians, actors, writers, and public figures have gone on the record to say pretty chuckle-worthy things about the spooky holiday. If you think about it, there's really quote a lot to comment on! All you have to do is pick one of these cute and silly quotes to go along with your pictures in which you debut your Halloween costume to your followers. When in doubt, a funny quote is always the way to go for a caption. Now the only thing left to ponder is which of these quotes to actually pick, because to be honest, they're all fire.

"I don't know that there are real ghosts and goblins, but there are always more trick-or-treaters than neighborhood kids." - Robert Brault

"The worst thing about Halloween is, of course, candy corn. It's unbelievable to me. Candy corn is the only candy in the history of America that's never been advertised. And there's a reason. All of the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911. And so, since nobody eats that stuff, every year there's a ton of it left over." - Lewis Black

"I’d dress up as Siri for Halloween if my life didn’t already entail being asked stupid questions all day." - Unknown

"Last Halloween was bad for me. I got beat up. I went to a party dressed as a piñata." - Jim Samuels

"If I'm lazy and I can't come up with a costume, I would just wear a slip and write 'Freudian' on it." - Julia Stiles

"When I was 12, I went as my mother for Halloween. I put on a pair of heels, went door to door, and criticized what everyone else was wearing." - Robin Bach

"Look, there's no metaphysics on earth like chocolates." - Fernando Pessoa

You don't even need a funny Halloween costume if you have a funny Halloween Instagram caption. Photo credit: Warner Bros. Television

"There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world." - Jean Baudrillard

"Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night." - Steve Almond

"Halloween is huge in my house and we really get into the 'spirits' of things." - Dee Snider

"I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself than be crowded on a velvet cushion." - Henry David Thoreau

"The real monsters are the people that give away little boxes of raisins instead of Halloween candy." - Mike Raphone

"Be sure to remember when Halloween is. Answering the door when you’re three-quarters crocked and finding a pack of [tiny] H-Men, Masters of the Universes on the front porch can be a scary experience if you’re not expecting it." - P. J. O’Rourke

"Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, 'Never take candy from strangers.' And then they dressed me up and said, 'Go beg for it.' I didn’t know what to do! I’d knock on people’s doors and go, 'Trick or treat.' 'No thank you.'" - Rita Rudner

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