If you still have a sweet spot for the viciously fun 1999 flick Jawbreaker, this is probably an exciting time to be alive: E! has a new Jawbreaker TV show in the works. Well, in a roughly inspired way. The show is reportedly set to follow a new clique, trading in teenage popular chicks for bridal party babes, but, as you would guess, the festivities of a bachelorette party get cut short due to a case of accidental murder. And that sounds great and all, but knowing we won't be getting a full-on reunion just makes me want to backtrack and watch the original film. There are plenty of reasons to rewatch Jawbreaker.
Trust me, I can make a thousand arguments for the movie. It's a stylish, smart satire that manages to hit all the right teen movie notes without it getting totally gross and hackneyed. Hell, I can make one strong argument for Jawbreaker just with the awesomeness that is Rose McGowan at... well, I would say "at her prime," but TBH modern day McGowan is incredible too.
In any case, it might just make sense to narrow it down to a concise list of reasons why you should rewatch the film right now. Learn it, live it, love it.
1. It Is The Blackest Of Black Comedies
Nevermind the fact that it basically starts with manslaughter, these are girls who have a history of kidnapping their besties for their birthday. Like, even the Heathers would be iffy about that.
2. And Yet The Color Palette Is Absolutely Stunning
Jawbreaker's dark, dark world is ironically a vivid, candy-colored wonderland with plenty of poppy, retro-inspired looks.
3. The Slow-Motion Strutting To Imperial Teen's "Yoo Hoo"
Honestly everything is peachy f*cking keen when that song comes on.
4. Courtney "Satan In High Heels" Shane
The leader of this accidentally murderous trio and the undisputed star of the show. She's so fabulous I don't even mind that she's a sociopath.
5. And Seriously, McGowan Has Never Looked More Beautiful
Regina George looks like a trashfire comparatively.
6. You're Not Denied A Fabulous Makeover
Dude, that's Judy Greer as Fern/Vylette, and she's virtually unrecognizable either way, thanks to movie magic (and probably some mascara).
7. And Then We Get More Slow-Motion Strutting
8. Julie Benz In An Underrated, Ditzy Role As Marcie
She can be an airheaded sidekick and a vicious blood-sucking fiend on Angel, it's remarkable.
9. This Creepy Marilyn Manson Cameo
Him and McGowan were dating at the time. Good luck sleeping tonight remembering that little fact (and witnessing Courtney's seduce-and-destroy on screen).
10. All The Lengths The Girls Go Through To Cover Up A Lie
There's a lot of quick, creative thinking here, so be sure to take some notes.
11. There's Also A Whole Romantic Subplot, And The Male Love Interest Is Pretty Cute, I Guess
He's also pretty understanding about the whole accidentally-killing-one's-friend thing.
12. The Way Courtney Undermines The Token Jock At Her School
"What he does after prom is his problem. He could get married, coach Little League. l could give a sh*t. He's a yearbook photo, a piece of nostalgia that won't stand the test of time." Wow, ice cold, but so awesome.
13. Oh, And There's A Prom Scene, Of Course
With all the incredible fashion and big reveals you'd want.
14. Courtney's Epic Undoing
As much as I'm obsessed with her, it's an undeniably incredibly sight to watch her torn apart by the wolves.
15. And Perhaps Most Importantly, The Entire Soundtrack Is Perfect
I already mentioned "Yoo Hoo" and I'd give a separate item to the Donnas playing at the school dance (as is tradition in teen movies from 1999) if I could find it online. However, the show really starts strong by kicking off with Veruca Salt.
Relive it all immediately.