The next time you're standing at your stove about to whip up another unexciting pasta bowl or grilled chicken dinner, ask yourself: are there weirdly awesome foods I can buy on Amazon that will make this meal even better (or replace it entirely)? Because Amazon isn't only known for bizarre products and bizarre gift ideas — it also carries some of the craziest, most amazing food items you most assuredly will not find at your local grocery store.
It may be difficult to imagine yourself eating some of these interesting foods, many of which are actually better for you than you might think — hello, edible dehydrated zebra tarantula, I see that you're high in protein. But before we deem these too odd or too frightening to eat, we should remind ourselves that pineapples have stay-away-from-me-or-I'll-attack-you needles and most of us eat them with no problem. Pigs in a blanket? Buffalo wings? Delish, but if you stepped off a spaceship and into a Super Bowl party, they might seem a little odd, too.
So, here's to the brave among us — the ones helping to make these weird, but genius foods you can buy on Amazon a little less unusual. We salute you.
1Mysterious Barbecue Tarantula Legs
How can I not start with the most perplexing food item of all? We're talking boiled, dehydrated, and high protein Zebra Tarantula. Some reviewers say these arachnids are actually quite tasty (they're barbecue flavored). But, wait for it: one reviewer says "the only drawback is that the larger back legs often break off & get caught up in the back of your throat, causing one to cough." Do what you will with that information.
2Nitrate-Free Rattlesnake Meat
Spiders not your thing? No problem — maybe a can of edible smoked rattlesnake is more up your alley? On the plus side, this is a nitrate and MSG-free food that contains no growth hormones. You can eat it plain or add some to rice and pasta, though reviewers say to expect to remove a fair share of bones before dining.
3Water That Will Keep You Up All Night
Why drink a cup of coffee when you can get the same amount of caffeine in this refreshing water? Avitae Caffeine Water contains caffeine from natural green coffee beans, will keep you hydrated, and has absolutely zero grams of sugar. It's unflavored, so it'll taste just like regular bottled water while it's waking you up.
4The Best Thing About Cereal
Let's be honest: the best part of every sugary cereal is the marshmallows — they're pretty much the only reason why most of us buy a box in the first place. Medley Hills Farm knows this too, so they decided to give us all what we really want: cereal marshmallows. Perfect eaten straight out of the bag, or do them real justice by putting them in a bowl with some milk, because marshmallow-flavored milk is also the best.
5The Most Magical 'Meat' In The Galaxy
Considering how the world has gone mad for unicorn highlighters and unicorn hair highlights, it makes sense that we'd all clamor to eat unicorn meat next, right? Of course not — and you'll be happy to know that ThinkGeek Canned Unicorn Meat is a hoax — 100 percent a toy. But that won't make it any less enjoyable to gift to a unicorn-obsessed friend (so mean, I know).
6Condiment Dog Food
At first glance, this trio looks like it will go well with hot dogs and burgers at your next BBQ party. But unless you're hosting the neighborhood pooches, don't do it: Pethup Nutritional Condiments are actually dog food in disguise. Specifically, you're getting turkey, beef, and salmon flavored dog food in the cutest packaging ever.
7Mints That Defeat The Purpose Of Eating Mints
If you always assumed the purpose of eating mints was to help disguise mouth odors brought on by certain foods like onions then you haven't considered the potential of onion ring mints. Reviewers say these taste exactly like onion rings, with just a hint of mint.
8Bacon Candy That Explodes In Your Mouth
It isn't enough to have bacon candy — what you really need is bacon candy that also sizzles in your mouth as if it's cooking in a frying pan. Take it from one reviewer: "Just like pop rocks .... but with a savory bacon flavor." Gift these to someone who craves bacon at any and all times of the day.
9A Soda That's Sweeter Than Every Dessert Put Together
When you think of the sweetest desserts ever created, cupcakes, cookie dough, and red velvet anything probably top the list. This red velvet cupcake-flavored Cookie Dough Bites soda somehow combines all three. Made with real cane sugar, the name pretty much says it all.
10Grilled And Seasoned Earthworms
These all-natural earthworm jerky treats are grilled and oven-dried. They are garnished with a spicy marinade that consists of a mix of sugar, lime powder, and smoked paprika powder. One reviewer described their taste as similar to kale chips, believe it or not. They're also a great source of protein.
11Goat Cheese Lollipops
Goat cheese is incredible, but a mess to try to eat when you don't have crackers in your pantry. These goat cheese pops, made with almond and pistachio, are perfect for parties or for snacking on during late-night Netflix binges. Think of them as adult lollipops, especially because they'd be great with wine.
12A Hot Sauce That Doesn't Taste Like Anything
There are times in life when you really want a spicy margarita; a super spicy burger; a little extra sizzle in your quinoa. But you may not want that extra hit of vinegar or pepper in your food. That's where the genius Frostbite Hot Sauce comes in — it adds heat without adding flavor.
13PB&J In A Bottle
If you've ever wondered what your favorite childhood (or adult!) sandwich tastes like in soda form, wonder no more: peanut butter and jelly soda is a real thing, some reviewers say it tastes exactly like a classic PB&J — albeit one that is heavy on the jelly flavor and very, very sweet.
The slogan on Crapola granola is perfectly TMI: "Makes even weird people regular." As in, eat this cranberry apple granola and your digestive system and large intestine will reward you. It's got 5 grams of fiber per serving, and it's sweetened with honey and real maple syrup.
15Candy That Looks Like A Bearded Basketball Star
If you can get past the awesome fact that you're eating candy that looks like Houston Rockets player James Harden, you're really just enjoying sour gummies. But who wouldn't eat delicious candy modeled after a basketball player's fantastic beard?
16Healthy Black Water That Claims To Improve Gut Health
Fulvic acid is a plant derivative mined from deep within the earth. Its benefits are supposedly numerous: fulvic acid has been said to improve gut health and boost digestion. Since fulvic acid is black, this alkaline water infused with fulvic trace is also black. This blk water doesn't contain any dye — it's just water with added minerals!
17Candy That Could Pass For Potatoes
If you're a big fan of potatoes and delicious candy, Oh Ryan's Irish Potatoes could be just the thing for you. These potato-shaped treats are made from coconut cream fondant and rolled in cinnamon. If you want to confuse people, open up a box of these and call them sweet potatoes.
18Organic Grass-Fed Butter For Your Coffee
fatCoffee Organic Grass-Fed Butter To Power Your Coffee, $19 (8 Packets), Amazon
They say you shouldn't knock it till you try it (and many people swear it's actually delicious): I'm talking about the coffee with butter trend that has swept our nation. fatCoffee Organic Grass-Fed Butter is doing its part to fuel this mania with individual packets of grass-fed butter that can be easily added to your cup of coffee. They don't need to be refrigerated, and they're vanilla flavored!
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