21 Things In 'Fifty Shades Freed' Anastasia Is Inexplicably Out Of The Loop On
Spoilers ahead. In Fifty Shades Freed, Anastasia Grey (née Steele) knows things. She knows how to operate an Audi sports car with the same level of expertise as a professional stunt driver. She knows that her husband, Christian, sometimes plays piano and sings. (Bonus points: She's the only person who knows this.) And she, allegedly, knows how to cut hair. (We never find out, because after some sexy shampooing, she finds a hidden gun, which trumps Christian's need for a haircut). You see, in Fifty Shades Freed, Anastasia Grey (née Steele) also doesn't know things — like, a lot of things. Things that she should know. Things that a young woman, who ended up in a BDSM contract with a mysterious billionaire she subsequently started dating should know before she marries him. Like how he feels about kids or how he's hiding a gun in their home that once belonged to his former submissive-turned-stalker, who threatened to kill Ana with that same gun. You know, just the basics.
At the start of the final Fifty Shades movie you want to feel for Ana, mostly because Christian is awful. He has no redeeming qualities other than that Ana likes having sex with him. He's controlling and rude and secretive. He doesn't want Ana to hang out with her friends (or, rather, the one-and-a-half friends she still has), he lashes out about everything, and he uses their already incredibly complicated sex life as a weapon against her to prove points. He's ter-ri-ble.
But! Even though he's The Worst, many of the things that Ana doesn't know about him, and doesn't know about her own life, aren't his fault. She (for whatever reason) is into him and chose to marry him — he didn't force her into that. Why, then, did she not ask, like, any questions? Even really basic ones like, "Do you want to have children?" and "Where are we going to live?"
And because of that lack of questioning, here are all of the things Ana — through some incredibly potent combo of apathy and naiveté — doesn't know in Fifty Shades Freed:
1. That She Co-owns A Private Plane
After getting married and having a reception while the opening credits are still rolling, (why didn't you give us a giant wedding scene, Fifty Shades?) Christian and Ana dip out early from their nuptials while it is still light out to go start their honeymoon. Christian drives them to an airstrip where a private plane awaits. Ana asks if he owns the plane. He replies that they own it. Ana's excited. Anyone else would be going into an emotional tailspin about how they don't know the person they just exchanged vows with, but OK.
2. Why Christian Braids Her Hair Before They Do BDSM Things
In all three of these movies, Christian has been shown fixing Ana's hair into a low braid whenever they go into the Red Room of Pain. While on their honeymoon, he braids her hair before they get it on in the South of France, and she says, "Why do you always braid my hair?" Girl, you just married him and he's braided your hair numerous times before! How is this just coming up now?
Naturally, we don't get a clear answer.
3. That Christian Found Out His Helicopter Was "Sabotaged"
One of the best parts of the second Fifty Shades movie, Fifty Shades Darker, was when Christian was involved in a helicopter crash. Ana and his family found out about the crash on the news, and whilst they were still watching the news report, Christian entered the room and was totally fine. I guess Christian decided not to tell his wife that it was suspected the helicopter was sabotaged by Jack Hyde (you know, the ex-boss/sexual assailant who attacked Ana) because she doesn't find out until this movie.
4. That Christian Hired Personal Security For Her
Christian has personal security because he is... rich? And, now, because Ana is married to him, she also has personal security. (Also, an enraged ex-boss is after her.) Of course, Ana did not make the connection and is surprised to find she now has a bodyguard.
5. How To Deal With The Housekeeper In Their Home
After they get married, Christian's long-time housekeeper asks Ana what she wants to do with the decor in the home and how she'll handle planning dinners, and Ana is all, "Um... what?" And the housekeeper is like, "Um... you live here." And Ana is like, "Oh. Right." Seemingly, Ana has been living with Christian since before they got married, but looks like she never thought about changing anything. In response to this shocking news, Ana decides she'll cook steak for dinner and makes no further plans.
6. That Christian Doesn't Want Kids (!!!)
Even if you can buy Ana not knowing anything else, the fact that she didn't know how Christian feels about them potentially having children until after they were married is inexcusable. If anything she should have assumed that he didn't want kids, considering nothing about this person has ever made it seem like he would want to be a father, starting with his long list of varied familial trauma and ending with the fact that Ana's only ever known him to be a controlling jerk who wants her only for himself.
Also, as we find out later in the film, he is obsessed with her taking her birth control. There's no way he hasn't constantly been all up in the status of her uterus since they got together.
7. That She Got A Promotion At Work
Upon returning from her honeymoon, Ana finds out that she's been promoted to Fiction Editor at her job while she was out of the country. Like, she didn't even seem to know getting the promotion was an option. Her new tasks include making sure the font is two sizes larger on the hardcover version and... other things.
8. That Christian Bought Them A New House
Christian pulls the creepiest version of Jim-ing and buys himself and Ana an old mansion in the middle of the woods without telling her.
9. That She's Going To New York
Christian says he's going to New York for work and that Ana's coming. She doesn't end up traveling with him, but she clearly never knew her going was the plan in the first place.
10. That Christian Has Hidden A Gun In Their Home
It bears repeating: This is the gun that almost ended Ana's life and her husband has been hiding it from her in the home they share. She found out while looking for scissors to give him a haircut! Good god.
11. That There Are Files On Jack's Computer... Or Something
What exactly Jack Hyde has been doing is kind of confusing, but basically, there were some evil files... Point is: Ana didn't know about them but other people, her husband included, did.
12. That The News Of Her Apartment Being Broken Into Is In The Press
Jack breaks into Christian and Ana's apartment while Christian is away, and threatens to slash her throat. Thankfully, her security team is super badass and is able to tackle him to the ground, leading to an oddly timed but enjoyable joke where Ana says she has handcuffs. (For you know what. She might as well have winked at the camera.) The next day, one of Ana's co-workers tells her that the news of the break-in is getting media attention, something she hadn't found out on her own. Does she not scroll through Twitter in bed? Check the news? Get app alerts? Have anyone in her life — like, I don't know, parents or her assistant — who might have heard about this and wanted to contact her? Nope. Nope, nope, nope.
13. That She's Going Away On A Trip
Christian surprises Ana with a trip away to a cabin-mansion. She doesn't get to let him know if she has other plans first. (She never has plans. She's not allowed.)
14. ...And That Her Bags Are Packed
Great. She also gets to wear a bunch of clothes she didn't pick out herself.
15. ...And That Her "Friends" Are On The Private Plane That She Previously Also Didn't Know About
It's part of the surprise getaway, but the real bone to pick with this one is that Ana is only friends with about only one-and-a-half of these people. Kate, Ana's best friend, is there, as is some dude named José, who the Fifty Shades Wikia page tells me is a "close friend" of hers, but who has, like, half a line in this movie. (Half a friend, half a line.) The other people on the trip are Kate's boyfriend, Elliot, who is Christian's brother, and Christian's sister, Mia. Of course, it's possible Ana doesn't have any other friends. (She's not allowed.)
16. What Christian Was Like When He Was A Kid
The group, minus Christian, go on a hike while at the cabin-mansion and Ana literally asks his siblings, "What was Christian like when he was little?" It's a weird question to ask about the man to whom you are already married, but, to be fair, in Fifty Shades Darker, after Christian told Ana that his mom was a drug addict who died when he was four, he told her to "fill in the blanks" about the rest.
17. That There Is New Jack Hyde Info
Blah, blah, blah. Something new was found out about Jack and, like everything else, Ana didn't know about it. For this one, the audience doesn't really know what's going on, either. Very lightly explained scenes about "files" about Jack being found are scattered throughout the movie in betweens clips of Christian and Ana boning.
18. That Elliot Is Proposing To Kate
The getaway trip that is, seemingly, to a small town also involves a scene where the group goes to a shockingly popular nightclub. At the club, Elliot proposes to Kate. Christian knew it was happening, but didn't tell Ana — who in this scene is wearing a dress that is eerily similar to the famed Paris Hilton/Kendall Jenner 21st birthday dress — even though Kate's her best friend and she would have been able to keep the secret.
Also, this was originally presented as a getaway trip for Ana. Now, she knows that she was basically used as a ploy to keep the engagement secret from Kate, but still wasn't told. All together now: Christian is The Worst.
19. What's In The "Top Drawer On The Right" That Christian Tells Her To Open In The Red Room
It's butt plugs.
20. That Hyde Is Applying For Bail
An investigator meets with Ana and tells her that Hyde, who was arrested after the break-in, is applying for bail just real casual-like at the end of their convo. And he's applying today. At Noon. Thanks for the warning, man.
21. To Remember To Take Her Depo-Provera Shot
Ana says that her wedding and honeymoon excitement distracted her from going in for her birth control shot appointment (even though her doctor's office called her repeatedly). And, to be fair once again: Did she even know where Christian was taking her on the honeymoon and for how long? Probably not. But, she didn't remember to set an appointment, and she got pregnant from having sex with Christian, which, as she pointed out, they have a lot of.
At the end of the movie, there is an epilogue where Ana and Christian are shown with a toddler son and Ana pregnant with another baby on the way. They sit in the yard of their mansion and Christian lovingly rubs her belly. They're happy. The End.
JK. He is definitely still hiding things from her. He definitely got pissed that she was pregnant the second time. And she definitely is still not actively seeking out information from anyone ever. Is their happiness genuine? Is it ignorant bliss? What's he hiding in their home now? Is she in charge of their entire publishing company and only found out about it once she returned from a babymoon trip? Who knows. In this world, you don't ask questions.