5 Ghosters Confess The Vanishing Act That Got Them In Trouble
In the world of online dating, the idea of a "ghost story" has taken on a whole new meaning. Rather than anything paranormal, I'm talking specifically about stories of going on a date with someone — or a few dates — and never calling them again. It might be easy to do, but ghosting on a date almost unequivocally leads to trouble at one point or another.
Perhaps you ran in to a former OKCupid date at a wedding who really gave you a piece of their mind. Maybe that Tinder girl you never called again ended up interviewing you for a job. Maybe you jilted a guy and simply had extreme ghoster's remorse years after the fact. Whatever your story, we're all human, and we all (well, most of us) have just up and disappeared on somebody before. Sure, simply vanishing is far preferable to sustaining the social discomfort of telling someone the minute and very silly reason that don't like them. But like a literal ghost, our ghosting acts can come back to haunt us in the most sinister of ways. Mostly because people who get ghosted on can do some bonkers things.
Without further ado, here are some spo0o0o0oky real-life ghosting stories courtesy of a couple brave, real people. For more hijinks involving ~modern dating~, make sure to check out Relationship Status — now streaming for free on go90.
The "Second Time's A Charm" Guy
"I used to be an active online dater, and at one point I got waaay too picky for my own good. Like, the kind of picky where I judged guys based on if they chose to say 'hi' or 'hey' in their first message. A couple of years ago, I got a message from this guy who was nice enough when he reached out — I'm pretty sure all he said was 'Hey, how's it going?' But without even looking at his profile, I decided to ghost him because I'd gotten a different message from someone I thought was cuter. Well, joke's on me: A few weeks later, I met that same guy I ghosted on out in the wild at a friend's party, and now we've been dating for two years."
The Dude Who Just Wouldn't Take A Hint
"I tried to nicely ghost a guy from a dating app by being vague and never committing to plans, because I had met someone else that I was really into. We never ended up meeting IRL, but I saw him at a bar during a trivia night and he recognized me and came up to me. We briefly said hi and then he left, came back for a couple minutes, and left again.
Fast forward to a couple weeks later, my friend (who was there on trivia night) ends up going out with him without realizing. She adds him on Facebook after the date, and sees a Facebook status from trivia night about how he ran into the girl who was blowing him off and proceeded to beat her at trivia — which didn’t happen. He didn’t even play trivia! It was the kind of status that inspired all his friends to comment about how he showed me and wow, what was wrong with me for doing that. Then, he tried to badmouth me to my friend on their date, so she never saw him again."
The Case Of Mistaken Identity
"I'll admit it: I was a ghoster in my youth. Right after I moved to New York after college, I indiscriminately went on a bunch of dates with guys I met online as a way to meet people in a new city. During this dating spree, I went on a horrible date with a guy who insulted my hometown and my outfit within the first five minutes, and just as quickly, I decided I wouldn't be seeing this person again. Based on the way he treated me, I assumed he didn't like me, but he texted me a bunch of times about a second date. I ignored him because I didn't think he deserved a response. Sorry 'bout it!
Eventually the texts died down and I deleted his number. Months passed, and an acquaintance from high school named Rob who'd been living in L.A. Facebook-messaged me that he was moving to New York and we should reconnect, which I was excited to do A bit later, I got a text with a 323 area code saying we needed to 'finally' catch up, and I assumed it was Rob. I excitedly agreed and suggested a bar. When I showed up, though, Rob was nowhere to be seen, but my bad date from months earlier was there—turns out, he also had a 323 number and had a name similar to 'Rob,' so he hadn't corrected me when I texted him thinking he was my old friend. I had to sit through a second date that was as painful as the first. This ghost was busted, but honestly, I got what I deserved for not taking the time to say I wasn't interested the first time — and for being a very dumb 21-year-old."
The Reformed Chronic Ghoster
"I am a reformed chronic ghoster. I'm not proud of it. But I hate confrontation SO MUCH that I always found it easier to just ~disappear~ instead of reject someone to their face. Eventually, my friends decided to host something of an intervention, and made me reach out and APOLOGIZE to all of the people I had ghosted in the past year. It was honestly one of the most mortifying experiences of my human life.
"Not only did I have to text people who I abruptly stopped talking to months before, but I had to acknowledge the fact that I had ghosted them and tell them I was sorry, which was so awkward and embarrassing. In total, I think I reached out to five people I had ghosted. Most of them were very chill about it, thanked me, and wished me well. But, one guy took this as an opportunity to try to ~rekindle~ our relationship and texted me non-stop for about a month. I still didn't really have any desire to date this person, but I felt even more guilty having to tell him that I wasn't interested in pursuing a relationship, especially because I had reached out to him first. Basically, I ended up ghosting him a second time and I FEEL REALLY BADLY ABOUT IT, OK? It is a brutal cycle and I promise I will never ghost again, probably."
The Guy Who Did His Research
"I am the co-founder of a women's empowerment non-profit and our organization often hosts networking mixers to reflect on social and professional dynamics women face. I often have a great time on first dates because, inevitably and often enough, the topic of feminism comes up and I find myself explaining my feminist identity as a progressive, Christian, and family-oriented millennial living in NYC. One date last year was particularly intrigued by my passion for empowering women but followed his praise with some misogynistic comments that made it clear to me that we were not likely to connect.
"The guy was otherwise a gentleman, though at that point I knew things would stay in the friend zone. At the end of the night, we decided to keep in touch but didn't make any solid plans, which was perfect. A few days later, I got several texts I didn't respond to. Fast forward a few weeks, I was surprised to see that this guy at one of our WomenWerk mixers. He apparently had followed our WomenWerk social media accounts to see the latest events, and came up to chat in person. I didn't feel called out, but it felt a bit weird."
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