Unicorn foods have been having a moment. In these uncertain times, people have turned to whimsically-colored dishes for a brief escape from the crushing reality that life is chaos and our time on Earth is fleeting. But let’s be honest, it can all be a bit much — we’re still recovering from our Unicorn Frappe-induced sugar hangovers and the bright colors give us headaches and sometimes we don’t feel sparkly because we have to like, pay rent and clean the shower drain. Even the moody get hungry though, so here are some foods to eat if you’re sick of unicorns.
While unicorn-inspired concoctions were flooding our social media feeds, black foods started quietly popping up as a response to the sudden glut of pastel-colored, glittery food. Besides being aesthetically-pleasing, a lot of these dark dishes incorporate activated charcoal, which supposedly helps the body rid itself of unwanted toxins, and prevents gas and bloating. It has also been used to treat certain poisons, so it might be worth keeping around on the off-chance you should make enemies with someone who has easy access to dangerous chemicals.
So throw on a black sweater, play some Morrissey, and stare pensively out the window as you contemplate our inevitable demise and nibble on gloomy treats as dark as your cold, inky-black souls!