Whether you're changing careers, moving, or ending or beginning a relationship, making a big decision about your life can be scary, and you might even be hesitant to choose until you're entirely sure. Luckily, you don't always have to be confident about every choice, as there are a number of hard decisions to make in life that you can make even when you're not 100 percent sure. It's tempting to want every affirmation possible that we are making the right decision, but sometimes, taking the leap is the only way to truly know if what you are doing is right for you.
"We like to think that decisions are easy — black or white, yes or no, good or bad— but it’s rarely that simple," life coach Desiree Wiercyski tells Bustle. "When going through the process of deciding, a lot of people get caught up waiting for some sign or occurrence that a decision is 'right' and often times those signs never come. So if it isn’t an outright, directly harmful decision then it’s OK to go for it and see what happens. There are very few things in life you cannot recover from, and you never know — it could be amazing."
Despite any self-doubt you may have, sometimes, you just have to go for it. Here are seven major life decisions experts say it's OK to make, even if you're not completely sure.
1. Moving To A New City
Moving is no easy feat — but it's not something you should avoid out of fear. "This can be a scary experience for folks because often it’s more than moving from a city — it can mean leaving family and friends or maybe even a partner," says Wiercyski. "But moving to a new city can also be liberating and a chance to reinvent yourself. There probably won’t be any clear sign that this is the 'right' move, but if it’s been on your mind and you feel the pull it’s OK to go for it."
2. Changing Careers
If you are unhappy where you are, sometimes it's best to leave, because at the end of the day, we spend too much time at our jobs to dread going to work. "This is one of those things where it often feels like there will never be a 'right' time to do this," says Wiercyski. "There are also often feelings of regret or sacrifice around the idea of 'wasted time.' And, last but not least, it can often come with financial insecurity."
3. Walking Away From Grad School Or College
There is a lot of pressure to attend school or finish a program, but if you really feel like it's right for you, it might be time to leave — or at least take a break. "At the end of the day, there are bigger costs than money or even society’s perceptions, and leaving behind something that you aren’t passionate about anymore opens you up to new and exciting possibilities you might not have ever considered," says Wiercyski.
4. Walking Away From Toxic People
It’s difficult to distance yourself from a toxic person, but it's OK to acknowledge that people we have known and loved might not be the best for our lives. "That may mean friends, partners, or even family," says Wiercyski. "We change so much throughout our lives and maybe they didn’t change in the same way, and that’s fine. What’s important is to think about how you’re affected and it’s completely OK not to make space in our lives for people who don’t nurture or support our growth."
5. Pursuing Your Dreams
It's easy to get stuck in the safety of everyday life, and you might also doubt whether or not you're the right person to pursue your passion — but it's worth going for. "It’s often scary, and you have no idea how your risk will be accepted by others, but even if you take a leap in testing out your passion, you’ll come out having learned something new, with a experience that can never be taken away and a whole new perspective," says Wiercyski.
6. Trying Something New In The Bedroom
Feeling sexually adventurous? It’s OK to go for it — so long as it’s safe and consensual. "Although our society likes to toss labels on things this doesn’t mean you need to fit into any box or that a label fits you," says Wiercyski. "But it’s perfectly OK to explore your sexuality and experience what that is like for you. Sexual preferences and desires are one of the most fluid elements with regards to personal growth. Often, it’s hard to take time to know and understand what your preferred style of intimacy is, yet that topic often requires the most intentional exploration."
7. Turning Down A Promotion
Sometimes, less is more, especially when it means protecting your mental health. "For so many professions, the things that draw people to the career often go away the higher up the corporate ladder they go," says Wiercyski. "It’s completely fine to stay in a position or job level that meets all of your needs. Or life may need you to focus on things outside of work for a minute and it’s not a good time to take that job that requires 80 percent traveling."
Making a major decision is never easy, but you don't have to always feel 100 percent certain before you take the leap. More often than not, you will figure it out as you go.