While it may be natural to wonder how often your married friends have sex, it varies from couple-to-couple, of course. For instance, does that couple have children? Do they have similar schedules and go to bed at the same time? Is one person out of town a lot for work? The list of variables goes on and on. So when you wonder how often millennial married couples have sex, especially compared to how often you and your significant other do, there truly is no “right” or “wrong” answer.
“Healthy sexual expression exists on a wide continuum,” Dr. Rachel Needle, licensed psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist in West Palm Beach, FL, and the Co-Director of Modern Sex Therapy Institutes, tells Bustle. “Every individual is different in what and how much of it they enjoy. Statistics on how often individuals have sex vary based on factors such as age, length of time in a relationship, and definition of ‘sex.’ However, this doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with or pathological about individuals or couples who have sex less or more often than averages. Plus, sexual frequency can depend on factors such as — but not limited to — desire, schedule, opportunity, anxiety, and attachment.”
Recently, eHarmony conducted their inaugural “The Happiness Index: Love and Relationships in America” report, which consisted of 2,084 online interviews among people aged 18+ who were married or in a long-term relationship. The report found that 79 percent of respondents aged 18-to-24 are having sex at least weekly while 85 percent of respondents 25-to-34 have sex at least weekly.
SKYN Condoms, too, found that 84 percent of married/engaged millennials are having sex at least once a week. They surveyed 3,000 sexually active millennials across the U.S to get the DL. Additionally, 90 percent of millennials in committed relationships, engaged, or married said they are “very satisfied” or “satisfied” with their sex lives versus 76 percent of single millennials.
All that said, here’s how often some millennial married couples have sex.
1Anonymous, 30 & 31 Years Old
"My husband and I average two times a week, and we’ve been married for four years."
2Anonymous, 32 & 33 Years Old
“My husband and I clock in at about once a week. We’ve been married just over three years and together for eight overall.”
3Blake Snow & His Wife, 38 & 34
“After 14 years of marriage, my wife and I have sex every other day or an average of 3–4 times per week. In part, I attribute this to principles I discuss in my book, Log Off: How to Stay Connected after Disconnecting... Overall, I’m very happy with my sex life and my wife seems to be, as well.”
4John & Kayla, 31 & 33 Years Old
“We have sex 1-2 times per week. We’ve been together for nine years, married for the last five.”
5Casey & Her Husband, 30 & 31 Years Old
“We have been together for 10 years, married for 18 months. Typically I would say we were having sex 1-2 times a week just for fun. But now that we are trying to conceive our first child, we have sex about 3-4 times a week, about every other day.”
6Jess & Leland, 30 & 36 Years Old
“We’ve been with each other for four years and married one year. We average having sex 1-2 times per week.”
7Margo & Max, 29 & 33 Years Old
“My husband and I got married about a year ago and dated for two years before that. He goes out of town a lot during the week for work, so we usually have sex the most on weekends, 2-3 times a weekend. If he’s in town during the week, I’d say we have sex at least one weeknight, too.”
As you can see, there are some similarities and some differences when it comes to how often married Millennial couples have sex. Remember: Only you and your significant other know how much sex works best for the two of you and your relationship. In any case, sex is good for you.
“Sexual satisfaction contributes to overall quality of life,” Dr. Needle says. “Having a lot of healthy sex can be a fantastic thing! Sex is good for you! Sex can: contribute to good cardiovascular health, boost immunity, relieve tension and stress, improve sleep, lower rates of depression and anxiety, and relieve pain. If the amount of sex an individual is having is not getting in the way of their life or responsibilities, causing psychological or physical problems, discomfort, or distress for themselves or anyone else, then be safe, have fun, and enjoy having a lot of pleasurable sex.” As long as you and your partner are happy, that’s all that matters.