There are a lot of different factors that determine compatibility. Spending styles, religions, even nighttime routines can all affect how easy it is to be in a relationship with someone. But there's one factor that can make a big difference to a relationship that doesn't get talked about enough — and that's spontaneity. If your partner is more spontaneous than you, it can have a big impact on your relationship. "This is actually a characteristic that can sometimes make or break a relationship," relationship therapist Aimee Hartstein, LCSW tells Bustle. "No one really talks about it much but there are real differences between people who are spontaneous and people who are planners. Neither way is right or wrong, but if you are on different pages, it can often cause a lot of tension and unhappiness."
Hopefully, you and your partner either have similar levels of spontaneity or can meet in the middle. "In an ideal world, you and your partner fall on similar ends of the spectrum," Hartstein says. "However, if one of you is a planner and one of you leans towards spontaneity, the best that you can do is try to meet in the middle!" But sometimes, that's harder than it looks.